Afterward - BananaFish (ONGOING)

Part Two - When he closed his eyes.

"Oniichan, are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Don't worry Imoto San. I will keep in touch." Eiji looked down with a convincingly calm expression set on his face, caressing his younger sisters structure in his hand, softly running a thumb along her rosy cheeks.

He felt bad leaving her in Japan. But he couldn't possibly stay here. There was no place for him anywhere but America, it was too painful to stay away. He'd fallen into a deep depression over the past two weeks, hardly leaving his own bed. Eating wasn't an option as it only made him feel as though he was about to throw up his own thoughts. Crying wasn't an option either; no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't let a single tear slip from his eye.

Something steel felt like it had been placed on his chest when he'd heard about... the funeral. No matter what, he couldn't help but shuddered at the thought of the dreaded word. But of course he'd come, of course he would, he had to.

A bag was slung over his left shoulder, holding all the belongings he needed for the plane journey that he and Ibe San were to endure. His suitcase was packed to the brim too, it was a last minute decision, but he decided that he'd stay in America for a while.

"Please don't do anything stupid, Ei Chan."

Eijis soft smile dropped for a moment too long, the eternal sadness in his eyes replacing his facade. He hated that people were worrying for him, he hated that they cared. But he couldn't complain. There were people who would do anything for him, and he the same to them, yet he still felt so empty and... alone.

"I won't."

-

Shunichi Ibe sighed, craning his neck downwards to see Eiji had fallen to sleep at long last. The two had hardly spoken since the day of the phonecall, and he was scared that it would stay that way forever. Poor Max himself sounded so broken while telling him the dreadful news, as if he'd been crying for hours on end. The man was like a father to Ash Lynx after all.

Peering out the window was a much needed treat for Ibe, the sunset was a painting of oranges and pink, the well remembered city of New York lit up beneath them. The temptation to wake up Eiji and show him the dumbfounding view was alluring, but the bags under the young Japanese boys eyes reminded him that this was probably the longest the poor boy had slept in a while, even if it was in the most uncomfortable airplane seat.

The two were going to visit Max and Jessica during their stay, the couple had a large house with guest rooms that they tended to rent out. But of course the Americans had insisted they used the rooms for free while the funeral was planned and endured.

Shunichi Ibe knew of Ei Chans plans to stay for a longer time than himself, he wasn't sure how long exactly. Maybe a few weeks. Maybe a few years. Maybe forever. There was no way he could say any input to as how long the young Japanese boy should stay, it was a decision that only Eiji Okumura alone could make.

As the airplane came to an abrupt stop, the sleeping mourner jerked awake from his deep sleep, peering around rapidly as though he didn't know where he was. "Ibe San? A-are we here already?"

Ibe nodded his head in response, gsesturing to the large airport that was clearly visible through the small window beside the two. "You slept through the whole journey Ei Chan."

"I apologise."

Ibe raised his eyebrow, sighing sympathetically at the tiredness still hinted in Eijis voice. "There's no need." He hummed, as the air hostess began presenting the different exits and where they were located, "it seemed like you needed a good sleep."

It was the truth. Eiji hadn't been sleeping all that well these days. He had always been a light sleeper, ever since he was a young boy, but these days it was different. It was an insomnia that sat next to Eiji on his bed, staring down at him with its beady eyes, whispering threats into his ears. Every time he shut his eyes a blonde boy appeared, wearing gold rim glasses with a thin frame, emerald green eyes crinkling at the corners.

He hated closing his eyes.

The airport itself was crowded as usual, it was a large and famous city in America after all, it was bound to busy. Eiji was surrounded by all these people who he didn't know; and didn't intend on knowing, yet he felt like he was alone in the grand building. Déjà vu gripped onto his shoulders, forcing him to look down at the floor where he could only see the stepping of multiple feet travelling around the airport. It hadn't even been three weeks since he was last here, it felt like yesterday... but yesterday felt like a lifetime ago.

He was adamant that Ash would come that day. He was so sure of it. So god damn sure of it. Yet he didn't show. At first he was sad, sad that Ash didn't want to be by his side, but the sadness turned to a hint of anger. The Lynx had told him they'd always be together, that he'd love to come to Japan, he made a promise.

That anger has now subsided to guilt.