Red Vessel

Chapter 2: The Lapse

It's 9:00 am. I wake up to the sound of the alarm, feeling agitated by the dream I just had. Anyone would think that if you have the same dream over and over again you'll get used to it eventually, but for me it doesn't work like that... every morning when I open my eyes it feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest. Although now that I think about it is not exactly the same; there's some new detail or conversation every night, but it always starts with this beautiful view of an afternoon landscape and ends with a faceless man saying words that I can never remember.
Why can't I just dream about giraffes or gummy bears?

The water is hot, and it runs down my body almost burning my skin, it feels good, nothing better than a shower when you are covered in sweat first thing in the morning.
When I open the bathroom door something hits me in the face... the smell of breakfast which means mom is here, and my brother is coming over... I really, REALLY need to turn off the alarm on Sundays.
Sitting on a chair in the kitchen island that stupid dream appeared in my thoughts again, I can't stop thinking about it... is just that... it has to mean something... the dream... those people... who are they?... well, maybe I'm just going nuts... yeah, definitely crazy.

—Arya, honey, are you ok? —says my mom with a worried face and handing me my breakfast. I guess I know why she's asking, my thinking face is as intimidating as a murder plan, or a psycho killer... My mom is a beautiful woman, she has a wavy blonde hair and hazelnut eyes. She had my brother when she was 20 and he is 23 now, so she is not that old compared to a normal parent with two kids.

—I'm fine mom —I say while I feel a hand on my shoulder and the smell of a perfume that I know too well.

—Hey rabbit face! — Says my brother with a wide smile on his face. He calls me rabbit face. Sometimes he can be a jerk, but he is a really good person and he's always there for me, but the only thing that bothers me is that he looks just like mom, the same hair, eyes, smile, that beautiful softly tanned skin, and the same essence... on the other hand I have dark blue hair, hazel eyes, my skin is really pale and apparently I have a "dispersed essence"; can't say I'm not pretty though, but seeing them together just makes me feel like an outsider.

— Wow, how creative! — I said sarcastically to my brother - What did you bring me?

—What did I bring you? What do you think? Carrots for the rabbit!

—Stop bothering your sister... —said my mom to Kris — She's in a bad mood today. —My mom looked at me like if she knew that I was hiding something like a silly teenager, I mean... I'm 19, I don't hide stuff from her anymore, I think...

— Hi mom!

—Hi Kris, honey! You are early today!

—Yeah, I just came directly from work! —my brother is a Royal Police Investigator, in other words, a detective. His job is really dangerous sometimes and because of this my mom often tells him to quit, but he will never do it.

—So, what's new in your not interesting life rabbit face? — says Kris while sitting next to me in the kitchen island and pulling my nose.

—You are SO annoying...— I said to my brother but it only made him smile brighter.

— Kris did you have breakfast?

— No mom, I'm starving.

— Here you go baby —my mom gives my brother some pancakes with Pink Syrup.

*****

Like a normal Sunday in our family of three, we had breakfast, my brother and I helped mom with some chores, we went to the supermarket to buy everything in the shopping list for next week, came home and watched a movie together. The end of our family day is here in the backyard, drinking mom's special blue lemonade, a recipe that I've been eager to learn but she refuses every time I ask.

— Last night we put under custody every members of Krasnaya, but we still don't know who their leader is, those scums won't open their moths — Said my brother with a very upset face. Krasnaya is like a cult group, a sect, they have committed several crimes including human sacrifices, but police still don't know what or who they worship. My brother has been working in this case for two years, it has been driving him insane.

—You say that now but every week you tell me the same thing, I'm not even sure that you're going to catch them all someday. — says my mom in a worried tone.

— This time is for real, mom!

—You should stop working in that place, it's too dangerous. — here she goes, she's always trying to make my brother quit, it is exhausting listening to this conversation about his job every single Sunday. But I do understand her, she's worried, I am too.

— Oh mom! Not the talk again... please, I know what I'm doing, nothing bad is going to happen to me.

I stopped listening to their conversation, because once more that dream came into my head, I don't know why I keep thinking about it, it is just a dream, nothing else, I suppose... I don't even know those people and I've never heard those names before... Ivan... June... well, June I've heard, a girl in my Lighting Class had that name, anyway I don't think is her, I mean, they were even wearing ancient clothes.

— Arya, baby, are you listening to me? — my mom pulled me out of my endless thoughts.

—Sorry mom I was distracted, what did you say?

—I said if you had everything you need to start this semester?

— Yeah, I — I can't speak, I...

"WHAT IS THIS? I'm feeling dizzy and my head hurts, everything is red, everything is cloudy, I can't speak... am I going to die? Mom can't you see what's happening!? Mom?! Kris?! SOMEBODY! Count to three and breathe deeply" I said to myself...
My eyes are closed, I can breathe again, I'm not dizzy but... I hear voices from the distance.

— You say that now but every week you tell me the same thing, I'm not even sure that you're going to catch them all someday.

— This time is for real, mom!

— You should stop working in that place, it's too dangerous.

"What... what is this?!" I said to myself as I realized what was happening. The conversation was repeating and I was watching some people sitting where we were sitting, it was me, and my mother and brother as if my soul escaped from my body- Why am I looking at myself sitting there? Am I dead? Did I really die?! —If I'm dead and this conversation is repeating my mom should realize that I died, that I can't answer her question

I look at my mom to see if she realizes I died but instead of looking at the real, dead version of me, the one who's next to her, she's... she's looking towards here, looking at my own eyes... TERRIFIED.

Everything went red again, I felt the same dizziness, and I couldn't breathe, my loins hurt so much, what is this!? What's happening to me!?

"1, 2, 3"  I counted...

I'm back in my seat, what is happening, am I going crazy!?

— This time is for real, mom!

Again, the same sentence.

I'm waiting for my mom to say "you should stop working in that place, it's too dangerous" to my brother... instead she's holding her glass of lemonade looking down to the floor.

— Mom, mom! Are you ok? —she doesn't answer me —MOM!!! What's going on? Are you ok?
She looks at me, with a forced smile

—We will be.