A Collection of my Inner Thoughts and Most Personal Feelings

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16. I lost the love I loved the most.

15. The second day of my sophomore year, my entire friend group abandoned me without explanation.

14. My 23-year-old brother calls me on the phone to tell me that he doesn't have anything to live for. I deal with another sleepless night trying to keep yet another family member from overdosing.

14. What am I supposed to do when the only male figure in my life doesn't believe me. Doesn't believe me about being sexually abused. Telling me that it is my fault. Telling me that I knew it would happen.

14. My stepfather comes into my therapy session because we are doing a genogram and she needed his side. Instead, he talks badly about my mother and he confided in me and my therapist that he is staying around for me and my little sister and not for my mom.

13. My uncle on my mom's side died of an overdose.

12. My mom wants to adopt my baby cousins Austin and Abby, but an incident happened and now she can't.

11. I am finally seeing that it isn't my fault that my dad decided to leave me and start another family.

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9. I couldn't even smile on my own birthday because it just didn't feel the same without my best friend, my Yia-Yia.

8. I start to realize that my dad isn't around because of drugs and think it is because I was too bad of a child.

8. I told my counselor at school that I was moving houses so she told the principle and now I have to change schools again. I wonder why she decided to do that.

8. I am taking care of my newborn cousin Abby.

8. I am as happy as I can be to be spending my whole summer with my best friend, my Yia-Yia.

7. I begin to get into the habit of breaking my pencils under my desk because it is so hard to concentrate on anything other than how I have no friends because I don't have a dad and my anger problems along with my sleep deprivation are at their worst.

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5. I have lived in three different houses in the past year and have constantly been changing schools. I wonder why I don't see my stepfather as often, only on the weekends.

4. I got picked up from preschool today by my Aunt who lives in the Philippines. We went to go pick up Kaylee and have the bestest day ever!

4. I go to Yia-Yia's house every Monday and Thursday nights for dinner.

4. I don't like having to share a room with my new sister. It bothers me that she gets all of the attention.

3. I tell my mommy that my stomach hurts as she is bent over nearly in tears, she pushes me away with a yeah yeah me too. I went to the bathroom and threw up. Later that day my Yia-Yia and I were driving to the hospital because my mommy was going to meet my baby sister.

3. Mommy tells me that I am going to have a baby sister and she is growing in mommy's tummy. I tell her that it doesn't seem right, that she should have her own place to live because she is my mommy.

2. I had the best birthday party of my life, I learned how to swim by getting thrown in the pool by my grandpa.

1. The first word to ever slip my lips was not a word that was recognized at first, my first word was Yia-Yia, and at that moment she knew that she was going to be my best friend.

0. When my mother was pregnant with me, she knew that I was her chance to turn her life around and basically save her. I was her miracle child.