"Chrysanthemum." Severus Snape x reader fanfiction.

Heavy in your arms.

You felt utterly disgusting. Your body drenched in sticky sweat, yet covered in tiny goose pimples as the cold morning air hit your wet skin. Shaky hands brushed through your hair and took in a heavy breath, working to calm to yourself back down. This wasn't how you were expecting to wake up this morning. To make matters worse, it was incredibly late and you had missed the majority of your morning classes. There was no point in attending the afternoon ones. Not with the sour mood you were in.

Swinging your legs to the edge of the bed, you pushed yourself and stretched your arms up above your head. Your muscles were incredibly stiff and sore from the endless twitching throughout the night. Oddly enough, you could barely recall any of what you dreamt about. Things were a hazy blur in your tired mind.

You slipped into a simple pair of trousers, a button up blouse and a slightly oversized sweater on top. You didn't bother to put on much makeup if any at all, fluffing up your hair before putting a wool hat over your head. A tiny puff ball sat stitched at the very top, a warm shade of red and brown.

Potions would be starting right about now. You thought back to Severus and what he had told you about this certain ability you had. You still didn't know much if anything about it or how it worked. You wondered if he did. You slipped your feet into your boots and wrapped your coat over your shoulders, stepping out of the Slytherin common room with a sigh.

Your legs carried you slow and aimless down the somewhat busy corridors and to the open great hall. You stopped to peer inside, watching as bundles of students moved about and indulged in mindless chatter with food stuffed in their mouths. Your own stomach growled and grumbled, but you were in no mood to eat. Not now, at least.

Your lips formed a faint frown and you continued on down the corridors until they grew to be entirely empty. You were the only student left, your footsteps echoing endlessly with each stride. You had no intention of actually attending Severus' lesson. Even if you wanted to, you felt more emotionally drained and empty than what you considered normal.

At some point, you found yourself idling near the door to the dungeon classroom, the faint echo of student chatter and the bubbling of cauldrons sounded more like muffled static to you. You turned and let your shoulder blades press up against the cold and wet stone wall, eyes fluttering closed and hands reaching up to run through the tendrils of your hair.

Unaware as you were, Severus sat at his large wooden desk and surveyed the room full of students before him. His gaze always seemed to land on the empty seat where you normally sat, though, and lingered there just slightly longer than the others.

Perhaps he missed you, perhaps he didn't. And if he did, he certainly wouldn't openly admit that in a million years. Especially not to your face. He was very closed off and reserved when it came to his feelings and emotions. Just as he always has been. That wasn't about to change any time soon.

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                            The evening air was extremely cold, wind blowing today heavier than it had the previous few days. The area surrounding the black lake was quiet and empty — no other student or professor was around and that gave you a sense of calm as your piercing eyes traced the shoreline.

One hand reached into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out your wand, gripping it with your fingers in a gentle fist. You merely stood there for a while, silently allowing yourself and your mind to concentrate on how the wood felt within your palm. The shape, the thickness, the intricate design against your smooth skin.

Not realizing you had closed your eyes at some point, you opened them back up and held your arm out stretch, tightening your grasp on your wand with a sigh. You were supposed to feel something, right? There was supposed to be a moment where you felt one with your wand, connected on a level different from human to human. Spiritually, intellectually.