Eighth Grade

Friday, October 26th

I did it... I broke up with him. I feel terrible, but I had to do it.
Today in Choir, this kid named Mark was playing the piano. I don 't know him all too well, but he's kinda cool. I came in and was listening to him play. You would never expect such a popular kid to be so educated in music. I sat next to him on the bench, letting him continue playing and dropping in small compliments when he stopped. Keira came into the room then and saw us, and moments later i was dragged out by her.
"What were you doing in there?"
"What do you mean?"
"Mhmm I think that you like him."
Lunch was next and I came to Keira after artful consideration, and told her that I needed to all to her. We grabbed passes to the bathroom and on our way out I told her that i was going to break up with Noah. She grabbed my right arm and dragged me out in to the hallway.
"That's because you like Mark!" She whisper yelled.
I would have loved if she were right, but she wasn't. She was right about me liking someone else, she just had no idea that it was Chris.
Today was the day of our 8th grade Halloween activity day. I had completely forgot about Halloween until recently, given everything else going on in my life. I went home after school, and started getting ready, trying not to think about how my relationship was falling apart, If it even was a relationship. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I got dressed into my Pink Ladies costume and headed downstairs to let my mom take pictures. She drove me to the school an when i got there i was greeted my Elizibeth, who had even texting me the whole way there, asking where I was. I payed the $2 entry fee, showed them my ID, and let her drag me down the hall to a group of kids from my lunch table. Ava was there too. Of course Ava had to be the party pooper and not where a costume.
It didn't take me long to realize that I wasn't the only girl who had the same costume idea this year.
And there he was. Chris came walking through the doors I just happened to be facing, and again, I wanted him.
At almost the exact same time, Noah walked by me with one of his friends. Then, the recent events hit me again as if they were a huge wave from the ocean and I was a swimmer who drowned.
I had been avoiding him all day, but now I actually had do to something. Or not.
I put him out of my mind and the rest of the night, I enjoyed with my friends. Ava was the first to leave, and I wasn't far behind her.
On my way home, Noah texted me.
Did i do something wrong?
What? No of course not.
Why are you mad at me?
I'm not mad at you at all
I thought I heard you say you wanted to break up with me did u
Yes but it has nothing to do with you I just think I wasn't ready 4 it
For what
Everything. I'm not used 2 having 2 worry about someone else's feelings besides my own when I make a decision
That was a complete excuse.
If you're not ready 4 a boyfriend that's ok i just don't want you to be mad at me. I'm not saying the we should break up if you don't want 2
'Break up' hearing him say it was weird. To me, it didn't Ben feel like we were dating. It felt like friends with a different title.
I still want to b best friends bc I can't imagine my life without u. I'm not mad. Thank u.
So are we breaking up?
I want 2 break up 4 now, but there's a good chance I will eventually b ready, I just don't know how long it will take
Even I don't believe that one
Ok good to know you're not mad
Not at all
I will always like you
I will always love u
OH MY GOD DID I JUST SAY THAT!? It's the guilt. I shouldn't have ignored him, and I should have just been honest.
I love u 2
Oh my god.