Daunting Discoveries ('Miraculous' Fanfic #2)

Chapter 11: Anguish in the Alleyway

Plagg's P.O.V.

I gazed up at my holder with concern.
He was in pain. A lot of pain.
I thought I had seen him the most upset that fateful day when Ladybug had been controlled by Cleanser. But this hurt was much, much worse.

Adrien gazed sightlessly before him, breathing heavily, seemingly unaware of my presence, his eyes filled with desperation.
I waited.

As his breath quietened, he remained motionless, his face frozen in an expression of remorse. I could only hover by his side, carefully watching him and trying to figure out what was going through his mind. At last I decided to break the heavy silence, with a gentle,
"Adrien."

Nothing. I tried again, in a firmer tone,
"Adrien."
He didn't respond, and I was beginning to think I should try again when he stirred, as though awakening from a deep slumber.

He looked around for a second, as if unsure of his surroundings, then his eyes snapped into focus and he placed his attention on me.

"Plagg?" His voice sounded hoarse as he whispered, "is that you?"

The tremble in his voice almost broke my heart, but I forced myself to reassuringly reply,
"It's me. I'm here Adrien."

He seemed distant, as though part of him was somewhere else. It worried me to see the broken, hollow look in his eyes. I softly repeated,
"I'm here."

"Why-" his voice cracked. Then he cried out,
"Why is there so much pain. Why does it hurt so much!?"
He broke down and began to sob. And in that moment, I saw not Chat Noir, the fearless superhero of Paris, but instead a young boy, who had experienced so much pain and hardship but always stayed strong for the sake of everyone else. He sat, weeping for a while.

I could only float and watch, giving him silent support, letting him release the tears which had been locked inside for so long. I felt a deep sense of sympathy for him, a glimpse of his immense pain and burdens weighing upon me. He had lost his Mother at a young age (lol I know she only died like a year ago but this is so much more dramatic), struggling through the immense grief alone, without any help from his Father. And now... to discover that his remaining parent, the only poor excuse for a family that he had left, was Hawk Moth. His spirit had been shattered, completely and utterly obliterated with pain and betrayal and anguish.

His sobs began to quieten down into a low continuous groan. I tenderly touched his arm,
"It's okay Adrien... I'm here."

I recoiled at the sudden harsh quality of his voice, so different from the hushed tone he had used just moments ago, his upset turning to fury,
"Why!? Why the frick are you still here? Everyone else abandoned me. Bunnix, my Mother, and now my Father. Even Marinette never told me about Cat Blanc. So go on, shoo, leave me alone."
I could only remain staring at him, dumbfounded.
His voice began to rise,
"What are you waiting for? Go away!"

I tried to speak in a soothing tone,
"It's okay Adrien. I'm here for you. I'm not going to leave you. I promise I won't go away, I'm staying right here."

He gave a bitter laugh,
"Stop acting like you care about me. I know that you're just like everyone else, planning to abandon me and leave me all alone in this world by myself, just like Mother did." He choked on the latter part of his sentence, but continued to spew out his hurtful speech, "so go on Plagg, you don't have pretend you care about me. I know that you are just acting, the only thing you care about is your stupid cheese!"
His voice rose into a wordless, angry shout.

I hurried to try and calm him down,
"Adrien. Adrien. Please, calm down, you're going to get Akumatized."

He ignored the imploring tone of my voice, savagely replying,
"Good! I hope I do!"

"Adrien!" I burst out in astonishment and rebuke,
"Please, calm down." As his rage and upset began to increase even more, I whined, "Adrien, please. I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry your Mother died. I'm sorry that Bunnix didn't tell you. I'm sorry that your Father is Hawk Moth. I'm sorry, truly I am. I know it's difficult right now but I promise I will stay with you, I will never, ever abandon you. I'm here for you. I promise it will get better."

His head snapped up, and he spat, livid,
"You can't promise something like that! You don't understand! You have no idea how painful it is! I know you don't care about me, so just go away already!"

With each statement my heart sank lower and lower.
The devastating discovery that his Father, the only person left in his family, was Hawk Moth, had created a pain so great that he had been twisted into a distrustful, cruel person, so much that I could barely recognise him as the boy I knew, the one whom had always been so kind, sweet and caring towards me and his friends.

I was at a loss for what to say in answer to his speech, until at last I meekly whispered,
"I'm sorry. I can't possible imagine what you're going through Adrien, but you can't close me out. Please, just tell me what's wrong, let me in. I promise I will stay, and do my very best to help."

There was silence for a moment, as though he was musing over my words. When he sat back but didn't respond, I continued,
"I am here for you. I promise that I will never, ever go away or leave you."

"What did you just say!?"
Springing back, startled by his ill-tempered response, I repeated my earlier sentiment, and I was surprised to see fresh tears trickle down his cheeks.
Yet his voice remained bitter,
"You know... that's exactly what my Mother used to say. 'I am here for you. I promise that I will never, ever go away or leave you'" he spat out the words in a scornful way,
"She promised-" Adrien's voice broke off with a muffled sob, then the features of his face distorted with pain and anger,
"But she broke that promise, didn't she?"
He gave a resentful laugh,
"She left me. She died and left me!" He angrily burst forth.

I tried to comfort him, but he whipped himself into a voiceless frenzy, all of his raw pain, betrayal, upset, grief and anger pouring forth and flashing across his face.

"Mother, died- Marinette didn't- tell me about Cat Blanc- Father is- Hawk Moth. Bunnix lied- You don't- care about me-". 

All broken fragments that were wrenched out between his angry, upset wails. Repeated over and over.

"A-Adrien please." I implored, I begged, I pleaded, yet still he continued to caterwaul, ignoring all of my attempts to soothe his spirit.

A fluttering movement caught my attention. Turning, it was with horror that I saw a dark purple Akuma spiralling down, down towards my holder.

"Adrien!" I cried out, and his sobs quietened down to a strangled wheeze. He looked from the Akuma to me, and then the Akuma again, a strange expression upon his face that I did not understand.

He only sat and watched the Akuma, making no move to repel it or check his emotion.

His plan suddenly took shape with clarity in my mind and I cried out,
"Adrien, no! It's too dangerous!"

But it was too late.

He gave me a pained glance, an apology in his eyes,
"I'm sorry, but I have to know."
Taking off his Miraculous Ring and chucking it at me, he grabbed the Akuma, and I could only stand, his words rumbling around my head, helplessly watching as he shoved it into his orange and white converse shoes.