Blind Hearts

❋Chocolate Chip Frappuccinos❋

© Copyright 2013 AddieMaria Addie Maria

All Rights Reserved

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"How was your week?" She asks, Ipad opened to a blank page; fingers ready to type something as soon as I open my mouth to speak.

I wonder if people like Dr. Sonia really care about people like me. With my pessimistic mind, I think likewise.

"It was alright, Noah and I are going to New York today. So that's something new." I reply playing with my fingers in my lap. I could never really sit still well.

"That's nice, so you've decided to tell the world about you two being friends?" She questions as she types something in her Ipad.

I nod, "Well, we're not going to tell the world. The world is just going to find out on it's own, but since we are going to be hanging out publicly there and I am going with him to an appearance; I'm guessing the world is going to find out pretty soon."

"I see. Have you been taking your medication?"

I nod once again.

"Well that's great then. Now I want to talk about something a bit more serious today." Dr. Sonia tells me. I can see her eyes glancing at the Kleenex box next to my seat. This means two things. And I can't decide which is worse.

"I should have talked to you about this earlier, but since I never really know when you are going to actually come to your appointments. I think the sooner the better now." She says.

This beginning of summer has been pretty busy and I haven't exactly had time to come every week, and plus I never really liked coming here. I know Dr. Sonia is only trying to help.

But I've always been bad at explaining any type of feelings.

As Dr. Sonia notices my silent reply, she starts to speak, "Henry is eighteen now. The police still have records and I need to know if you changed your mind on getting a court restraining order."

I never really wanted to get a restraining order against him. To this day, I don't know my exact feeling for him. It's just not a good one. I don't want anything to do with him anymore and getting a restraining order might mess up his reputation and what if he got into a college and I got him kicked out or what if I have to see him again? I wouldn't be able to do it. I couldn't. So many thoughts run through my mind.
"I um.. I ah... I- I don't need one. I'm fine. He won't be coming back. Nothing is here for him and I have no idea where he even is now. How could I know?" I stutter.

"You know what he did wasn't your fault. You can be angry with him." Dr. Sonia tells me, looking at me directly in the eye.

"I know that, but I'm not angry with him. Not really. I just don't think it's necessary to make a big deal out of it all." I answer.

"It is a big deal though. We'll talk more about this when you get back. You and Noah have fun and I hope to see you back here in one piece."

I nod and say thank you as I walk out the door into the lobby. There is only one other guy in the waiting room so I give him a slight smile and gesture that he can go in.

I then go outside and get inside my little jeep.

Am I mad at Henry?

I sit in my car for the next five minutes contemplating before I give up and drive home to make sure I'm all ready to go with Noah.

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"Need help with that?" Noah asks as I attempt to reach for my little suitcase that's in his escalate. I just nod as he easily take it from the car and sets it next to me.