In Motion

Chapter 8: Heartbeats by José González (2003)

I blinked.

No, it was Martin all right.

I blinked again.

He was wearing a white polo shirt, khaki shorts, and boat shoes. He had his hair cropped and combed neatly to the side. His long hairy legs showed, with his right ankle resting on his left knee. Earphones plugged, he scratched the light scruff forming under his chin while answering his probsets. His backpack was on the seat to his right, which prevented me from sitting next to him.

He looked up at me and gave me a head nod.

"You look different," I blurted out.

He pulled out the right earbud and began twirling it. "Sorry?" he asked, all cool and casual.

"Never mind," I said and sat down. He shrugged and went back to his probsets.

"Different good?" he asked after a few minutes, not looking up from his equations.

Bastard.

"Yes," I said through my teeth. He was smirking as he boxed his final answer with unnecessary flourish.

Martin began showing up later than I did for the next few meetings, but always in that newfound swagger. He would nod to our female classmates who chimed their greetings. Some days, he'd part ways with some dude in the corridor before entering the room.

But the worst moment was when he entered the classroom eating ice cream on a cone. I turned my head away on purpose as he sat down, eager for him to finish whatever he was doing.

"Kyle," he called.

"What?" I said, looking at the wall.

"Kyle," he called again, louder with more intention.

"Yes?" I gnashed and turned my head to him.

"I'm almost done." Lick. "With my part." Lick. "Of the paper." Lick. "I'll send it to you soon?" Lick.

"Sure," I said to him, praying that my cheeks didn't betray me. The expression on his face told me that they did.

We didn't have time to talk as much. Our classmates also started speaking up, revved up to get full recit scores.

"Making public universities free is the ultimate goal," Leah Marasigan, another outspoken classmate, said during our discussion on accessible education. "But imagine opening a university to those who are already standing outside its gates. Why don't we examine first those who got left waaaay behind. Students who gave up on algebra and just went to work. Children who couldn't read at third grade and dropped out. Kids with disabilities who couldn't even dream of attending kindergarten. Shouldn't education investments be channeled to them first?"

"They're not mutually exclusive," Martin countered, shaky but forceful. "We can solve all those problems if the government were willing."

"If," Leah said with a knife's edge. "If."

"This isn't a governance theory class, Martin," she said coolly. "It's development practice. We contend with the government that we have, not the government that we have to fight for."

"Then when do we fight for it?" Martin shot back, fists balled in exasperation. "When a state university like this increases its tuition again? It's already becoming a school just for you and me and all the kids who look and talk like us."

The class fell silent. Professor Ferrer cleared her throat. "Thank you for this discussion," she said, cutting through the tension in the room. "We obviously feel very strongly about the topic. Given the tuition fees hike implemented during--"