Such a fuckin screw up

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Colson

I couldn't believe this shit. Was Jane really pregnant with my child? The last time I saw her she did look kinda thick. But I only got a glance at her because she left as soon as I showed up. Did she know that whole time and hide it from me? I couldn't wrap my head around it. Jane and I thought that due to a medical condition she couldn't have children. There were so many questions I needed answers to but I wouldn't get the answers anytime soon.

I couldn't even bring myself to go home. I checked into a motel about 15 minutes from Jane's place. I needed to be near her just in case she needed me which wasn't likely. My own wife hates me. Not that I blame her. I saw the way she looked at me when I flipped out on her. She probably thought I was gonna hurt her or something.

I laid back on the bed and stared at the contents that lay on my nightstand. I had started using again not long after Jane left. I stopped taking my meds and then it just kinda happened. I was completely lost without her. Then the divorce papers came and I knew she really wasn't coming back. Hell my own daughter didn't even wanna be around me anymore. I'm glad she has Jane. Maybe their both better off without me. At least with me gone there would be no custody battle and the two of them could just move on with their lives. Was I wrong for thinking this way? The liquid in my vains was telling me otherwise. It was telling me they were better off without me.

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