Broken crayons still colours

Chapter 3 ~ Guilty pleasure

Hey guys, I hope you're enjoying this book so far. Remember it's my first book, there might be some grammatical errors as I haven't edited it yet.
I would definitely edit this book once I'm done with it.
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I love you all and God bless you.
♡
Toneeya.

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Emma's POV

It was a cold Saturday morning and I guess I would be home alone for a while until mum gets back from her outing.
Mum went to pick up some fabrics from her supplier. The supplier would have delivered it to the house as usual but because mum was visiting a church member who lives close to the supplier's store, she insisted she just pick it up herself.
  "Now what do I have for breakfast?" I mumbled as I walked towards the kitchen door.
I opened the fridge and brought out a bottle of milk and eggs.
I checked the pantry for some flour, bicarbonate soda and sugar.
I've been craving pancakes since last week and this morning was just perfect since I would be having breakfast alone.
I was done with making pancakes and since the weather was cold, I had hot chocolate with it.
    I went upstairs to finish my class project before mum gets back. Because I know we would start preparing for lunch once she got home.
I unlocked my phone and got a message.
Someone added me to a groupchat on telegram. I opened the group and closed it back immediately I saw some  downloaded  videos.
"Oh God! Who added me to this group chat?" I was shocked at the files I received from there.
They were all xxx videos!
  I tried hard to fight that part of me or was it the devil telling me to watch those videos but I failed.
"I would just watch and that's it!" I opened the video and watched another and another.
  I felt weak and before I knew it, I started touching myself.
I masturbated again!
   After 5 minutes of that pleasure,  I felt empty. I felt guilty.
The devil was probably mocking God right now.
I struggled with this habit since I was 13 year old. And everytime I masturbated, i would ask God for mercy and promise never to do it again.
God must be disappointed right now.
Will He forgive me again?
I promised Him I wouldn't masturbate again  but I did! I felt filthy and unclean.
I've sinned against my body and God.
My body was supposed to be the temple of God.
I cried, picked up my phone, removed myself from the groupchat and deleted all the files I downloaded from there.
I picked up my bible and when I opened it I remembered a verse "Be holy, because I am holy."
"Why didn't I remember this when the temptation came??? Was God testing me?? I've failed again...God please have mercy." I cried and asked God for mercy.
I studied my bible and felt peace again.
I prayed again and finished the project.
    I fell asleep till the sound of mum's car in garage woke me up. Then I got up to welcome her.
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Scripture reference for this chapter.

1 Peter 1 : 16 NLT

For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”

James 1 : 13-15 NLT

And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

1 Corinthians 6:19 NIV

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.

11/11/20