Broken crayons still colours

Chapter 6~ God's dead

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Emma POV

It's 7pm and mum's not back yet. I can't even reach her on her phone. I pray everything is fine.
I should probably call grandma.
As I picked up the landline to call grandma, I heard a knock on the door.
It must be mum! But didn't she take her keys with her?
I quickly ran to get the door and was surprised to see grandma and aunt standing outside.
"Grandma? Aunt? I was about to call you. Did mum call you here to check up on me? Where's mum? What of the fashion house?" I had so many questions, it was really strange to see grandma and my aunt show up unannounced. I hope all is well. Grandma interrupted my thoughts with a hug.
She was crying. My heart skipped a beat, I was sure she felt my heart stop for a minute.
"Where is mum??? Grandma, why are you crying?" I already had tears in my eyes. Grandma held my hand and took me inside. Aunt said nothing, it was as if she was in another world. She looked dead as she shut the door behind her.
"Emma...I need you to be strong," Grandma was trying to hold back her tears.
"Grandma, where is mum??" I was already angry.
There was silence for a minute.
"Grandma, where is m..." I was shouting this time around.
"She died in a car accident!" Aunt shouted back and broke into tears.
"Lucy!" Grandma looked angry, she called my aunt by her name.
I felt my heart stop beating. This was a bad dream. I felt dizzy and everything just became dark.

"Emma? Are you okay? You should rest a little." Grandma said as she tried to stop me from getting off my bed. I didn't know how I ended up in my bed. Was I sleeping? I had a really bad dream.
I saw aunt Lucy sitting by my bedside crying and I realized it was not a dream.
"I need to see mum, she must be worried sick about me." I jumped out of bed.
"Emma, please you need to be strong.  Do it for your mum's sake." Grandma tried stopping me.
"Strong? I don't even know where my mother is and you want me to be strong? My mother could be in trouble right now,  I need to save her."  I was still in shock. My mum was all I had.
"She died in a ghastly car accident, she didn't make it to the hospital. I was at the hospital when her corpse was brought in. I...." Grandma broke into tears now.
Grandma was a consultant at the City hospital. She has always wanted me to study Medicine since none of her daughters studied Medicine.
Mum went to fashion school and aunt Lucy studied Law.
"I called your aunt Lucy on my way here, I couldn't bring the news to you on my...Emma! Emma, where are you going? Hunny wait!"Grandma tried stopping me but I succeeded in running away. I felt suffocated inside the house. I needed to breath. I needed mum.
   
   I didn't know where I was going or where I was, I just kept walking.
The moon was out, it shined to bright yet my world felt dark. My mind was blank, I wasn't even thinking. I sat on a bench on the street, maybe I was at a park. There were trees, small bushes and all I heard were crickets.
"God, if you're truly there....bring back my mother." Those were the only words that came out of my mouth.
Why is this happening? I never saw my father, he died before I was born and now my mother is...is...." I fell on my knees and cried. I cried till no tears came out.
   I stood up and lay on the bench, I was so tired I fell asleep.
        
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"No, no please stop. Let me go please." I struggled hard to push him away. The stench that came from him was strong. Although he was drunk, he was still strong.
I felt his cold hands move up my thighs. I tried to scream but another man had his hand over my mouth.
A sharp pain pierced from the inside.
Tears rolled down my eyes as I clenched my teeth.
He got off me and I thought I was free but the other man got on top of me.
They took turns in raping me.
I felt weak, closed my eyes. The next thing I saw when I opened them, was a man with white coat.
Was I dead? Is that God?
  "Emma, you're awake." I heard a familiar voice.
I finally opened my eyes widely and it was grandma.  The man in a white was a doctor. I was on a hospital bed.
I wasn't dead, it wasn't a dream. I tried to say something but the words didn't come out. I was broken.
I felt dizzy so I closed my eyes again and slept off.

   "I know she's passing through alot right now, but God will make everything beautiful in no time." I could hear a voice as I slowly opened my eyes. I recognized that voice. Pastor Nick. He pastors Christ Assembly Church, where my mum and I attended.
"I'm sure everything happens for a reason,  God will heal all her wounds.  God's not d..." Before he could complete his sentence I got up from the bed.
"God's not what? Dead??? You mean God watched my father died and did nothing? And...and yesterday, He also watched my mother died too and still did nothing? He was there when I needed help the most?? So, God was there all the time?? He wasn't! If He was there, He would have helped my parents, He would have saved them, He would have saved me. He..." I  was already crying uncontrollably now. "God's dead!"

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Hey guys,  thank you for reading this far.
Was Emma's words justified? Have you ever blamed God before? Let's know in the comment section.
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God bless you.
♡
Toneeya.