Attention || Seulrene | Ongoing

Coming Clean

Seulgi was still staring at the darkened sky when Irene heaved a sigh. Turning her attention to her, she saw Irene intently watching her, a sad look on her face and her lips were pulled downwards.

She reached for a napkin and wiped the corner of her mouth or any place that could have a crumb of the cake or remnants of coffee. "Why? Is there something on my face?"

Irene shook her head. "No..."

"Then why are you staring at me like that?"

The look that Irene gave her was something she expected(afterall what she said was a little bit cliche), it was teasing and there was a little expression of incredulity."Like what? Like I'm inlove with you?"

She shook her head. "No. Like you're sorry."

Stunned, Irene took a few seconds to reply. "Maybe because I am."

"You are?"

Placing the almost empty cup on the table, the older uncrossed her legs and sat up straighter. "I don't know your reason for accepting my offer of friendship and I also mean it when I said that I'm not usually someone who you'd like to be friends with."

True. She hasn't thought of being friends with Irene. Acquaintances, maybe. Someone who'd accompany you inside the classroom or share your earphones with but not friends. They were never friends.

Continuing where she left off, Irene smiled. "But since we're here and I'm glad that you've accepted, I'm here to... come clean."

She was still quiet which prompted Irene to explain. "I sucked at your first impression on me, right?" She chuckled then grimaced. "I was horrible with you and everytime I think about the things I did, I hate myself a little more."

Then why? Why did you do the things you did?

Seulgi wanted to ask but kept quiet.

"My grandmother. I told you about her, right? I stayed with her so much because my family is... dysfunctional." Irene paused with a slight laugh. "That's the best word to describe them and growing up to such environment affected the way I think and view myself."

The Bae's. She heard about them, alright. From her own parents and from other people. Most of the stories were about how great they were and how powerful and influential the family is, but there were a few whispers and talk about some other things. It was starting to make sense to Seulgi.

"You don't have to tell me about this. It's personal and I don't-"

"No. You deserve to know. Not just because you're my friend now but because I-I've hurt you when you did nothing wrong."

Seeing the resolute glint in her eyes, Seulgi decided to let her continue and just listen.

"Where was I?" Irene scratched her brow and frowned. "Oh, right. I was only a child when it started- a very very gullible one who thought that she was better than everyone because that's what her parents told her. She believed it because that's also what the people around her made her feel. I was self-centered, Seulgi. Maybe I still am. I don't know.

"And everytime things didn't go my way, I project the anger towards the world. Towards those who I view weak. You." She whispered the last word, her voice laced with embarrassment and apology.

"I see." Was all Seulgi could reply because that's the truth. Seulgi knew she wasn't the most athletic looking kid, nor the prettiest. She was just an average kid with monolid eyes who liked to read and eat pringles.

"But-" Irene was quick to explain more. "But that doesn't justify what I did. You- You were the first I saw in the playground that one moment I so hated the world. And... you looked so scared yet so ready to accept whatever I'll do to you because... because you thought the same about me."