꒰ written by @moviehyuns ꒱
—————
now listening to : I'm Not Okay - Kim Jaehwan
Incompatible, a word that represents the fact that he was too different compared to me. But that is what made me become so attracted to him... I tried. I tried so hard just to get a grasp of him touch. I tried so hard to listen to him once more. I tried everything just to be near him once again. Not long later, he disappears. he doesn't disappear out of sight, just out of interest due to his availability becoming unapproachable...
my relationship with minhee, we've been a thing for 5 months now yet only felt like weeks, has been going so downhill. it's not the fact we don't love each other but maybe i was the one "loving" after all. i know he's a busy guy but sometimes it gets to the point it's impossible to reach him and so i wanted to check up on him once again, so i simply texted him.
busy, again? it's been a month since he had said the same thing. always busy, busy, busy. can this cycle just end already ?
didn't take too long for me to get over the breakdown as i was just use to it so i decided to just go out and spend some time for myself for once. some time where i don't have to stress about my actions or anyone making me think twice. shopping was what i was going to go for.
it's been hours since i had been bustling in and out clothing, stationery stores. i was holding different sized bags all packed on each arm. as time passed by it started pouring outside and i was tired, nothing else caught my eye until i saw it, i saw him. him with another girl. a girl that looked more suitable and overall just better for him. i stopped in front of him and let go of my bags. "you were busy, weren't you? this is what "business" you have been talking about all these months?!", the rain falling down my chin making me look like i was balling my eyes out, which soon it will be. "y- y/n, i can explain!", he stuttered my name and he let go of his "new girl's" arm to reach for mine but i was already out of his reach. i was a fool. i had already picked up my bags and left.
i was now in front of my house. it was still pouring outside but i was taking shelter still inside my car. i just couldn't believe i had just witnessed, this was what our 5 months had led to and we still hadn't broken up but now i knew, it was time to let go. he had fallen out of love with me yet i still clung on, it simply wasn't fair. i started crying again and clenched my fists, punching my steering wheel. i thought i was being "insane" but now i have a reasonable chance to call him insane too even though i don't want to...
long minutes had passed by and the rain had stopped but i just couldn't be asked to leave the car still soulless. my phone buzzed from inside my pocket, a text message from minhee. i would feel like an idiot to pick it up right away but i couldn't help myself, i already missed him.
i read it but i could only just agree. it felt to me that it was all planned but it just so happened so it just couldn't have. we weren't meant for each other. it was a rough tug of war game, i was the one pulling and he was only purposefully pushing away, a good yet tragic game we played.
we were incompatible.
