To Overthrow the Guardians

Chapter 42: What Was Lost

Matt sat in his living room on his brown couch, the night beyond the windows dark. Whisper, whose eyes were moist, and Fiona sat on either side of him, North, Bunny, Sandy, and Jack sitting on the green rug. An emotional ache dragged Matt's chest down to his toes and festered into a pain, something he had never quite felt before even when Haven had been a Fearling.

No one spoke for a moment. Everyone was here, their presences comforting one another. No one needed to speak.

"We're having Tooth's funeral tomorrow," North finally said. "You are all invited, if you wish to come."

Matt just nodded, as well as the others. "I don't know when Angelia and Duran's funerals are. Their families haven't had enough time to process their deaths yet. And I'm assuming that the other dead agents' families will also plan their funerals soon." He felt obligated to go to them all, but he didn't know if he'd have time.

"We did what we could," Bunny said. "If we hadn't worked so hard to protect everyone, more would be dead."

Matt just buried his face in his hands. What would happen when the corrupted children came back again? Would more people die, more of his friends and employees, the ones who had decided to stay? Would...

"I'll make sure we're prepared next time," Fiona said. "I'll make some tranquilizers." But as she said this, she just stared forward at the blank television screen as if she wasn't processing what she was saying. It was understandable. Her crush had died, pronounced dead on arrival. "And no one blames you for what you did, Matt." Matt hadn't even said anything about being bothered, but yet she apparently felt the need to comfort him. "You didn't try to make Haven kill those children. She did it on accident."

Matt tried to not acknowledge the fear that it brought up, that he was the reason she had unintentionally killed them. But if he hadn't done what he had, he didn't know how many more would have died. Neither situation was optimal.

"Haven doesn't even know Angelia and Duran are dead," he said. He felt like she needed to know. Maybe it would even bring her out of the curse, show her that what she and the children had been doing was wrong. Or maybe it would just cause her to make an explosion of light again. It would definitely at least make her sick with grief. Matt didn't want to bring anything like that upon her, but it didn't feel right that she didn't know of the terrible tragedy that had befallen her friends.

"One day, Haven will know," Jack said. "Just not right now. Not yet. You'll get the chance to tell her eventually."

"Eventually," Matt repeated. That was right. His situation wasn't completely hopeless. He still had his wife whom he could save from being corrupted forever, as well as all of the children who were still alive.

"We'll help you get them back," North said. "We'll help you capture and cure them all. With everyone working together, maybe we can finally cure them for good."

"We can have hope," Bunny said.

Matt wondered how the children, once they were cured, would feel knowing what they had done under the influence of corruption, either through their own memories or someone else telling them. But it hadn't been their faults; Matt would be sure to let them know that. They would be forgiven for what they had done. Part of Matt still resented them, however, for the deaths of his friends, employees, and a Guardian. And part of him wanted to go back and have everyone be okay with killing the corrupted children so that fewer non-corrupted people would die. Maybe, if they had done that, his friends would still be alive.

He met Bunny's gaze. His daughter had been one of the murderers, but she and all of the others were still people who deserved to live. It hadn't been everyone's unwillingness to kill children that had caused people's deaths; it had been the corruption and its plan. It and only it could be blamed for the tragedy.

Out of the corner of Matt's eye, he saw Whisper bring her hands to her face and resume crying.

"Why do I just keep losing people like this?" she said between her fingers.

"I don't know," Fiona said after a moment, reaching over to put her hand on Whisper's shoulder. "But one day you'll stop. One day, the corruption will be vanquished once and for all. I'm sorry that all this has happened to you. If there's anything we can do to help, just let us know."

Whisper removed her hands from her face and wiped away her tears. "Let's go around the room and say our favorite memory of the fallen. I'll start. My favorite memory is when my first Christmas, everyone at the workshop was so happy that I couldn't help but miss my own family. But Tooth took the time out to comfort me when I was sitting in a corner crying during North's after-Christmas party, and she made sure I got the most presents." Whisper began to cry again, and everyone nodded.

"My favorite memory is when Duran and I were talking after our finals were over our senior year of college," Fiona said, her voice sounding hoarse. "It was just the two of us. We talked about a lot of things, really, everything from what we would miss the most to what our plans for our graduation parties were. It was when he asked me if I wanted to join the L.E.R." Fiona took in a breath, then let it out. "I thought...I thought that he liked me then. It was only after I found out he was dead today that I forced myself to recognize that he just thought of me as a friend. He was always just being nice and friendly, not being interested in me romantically. I tried to ignore it for as long as possible." A few seconds of silence passed before the next story.

"Mine is when Tooth told me she had my memories," Jack said, his pale face turning a little red. "That she could help me remember what I had forgotten. It was when I first started tagging along with the Guardians. It made me help fight with them, and because of that, they would become my best friends."

"My favorite has to be when Duran helped me save my daughter," Bunny said, scratching one of his furry rabbit-like ears. "She almost got away, but he cured her just in time, even when he had to climb to a dangerous edge to do it. He is the reason she's cured today. Well, was cured. And she will be again."

Sandy was next. Matt wasn't exactly sure what he said, but the sand pictures above his head formed more slowly than normal, or at least Matt thought so. And what the guy with the golden Dreamsand robe said had something to do with teeth, sleeping children, and coins. Maybe it was when he, the other Guardians at the time, and Jack had helped Tooth play the Tooth Fairy when her Mini Fairies had been kidnapped by Nightmares.

"My favorite memory is the same as Sandy's," North said. "When we helped Tooth collect the teeth. We hadn't had that much fun in a long time, even at my after-Christmas parties." His pinkish face formed a sad smile.

It was Matt's turn now. What could he say? He hadn't thought through his response while the others were talking; he had been drowning in grief. What was his favorite memory of Angelia, Duran, or both? He hadn't known Tooth for very long, so Matt likely didn't have a favorite one of her. Guilt tugged at his chest. He should have taken the time to get to know her while she had still been live. Wishing wouldn't change the present, however.

"My favorite memory of Angelia and Duran was the Christmas party we had after we formed the L.E.R.," he said. "It was right after finals, so we didn't have any homework, and we actually had planned activities to do." Matt's cheeks heated up. "That was when I first realized how much I liked everyone and was glad to meet them." Even the irritating redheaded Garvit. What a good decision that guy had made, to leave the L.E.R. instead of to stay and fight. Angelia and Duran would still be alive if they had made that decision, too, but they hadn't.

Though again, wishing wouldn't change anything.

Actually doing things would.