A Closing Exist

Chapter 1

*Rose's P.O.V*
I pull my scarf tighter as the wind blows against me. The weather keeps getting colder and I keep on getting more fragile. My bones hurt and my scars burn. Physically and emotionally. Looking at my watch, I notice that I'll be late if I don't pick up my pace. I run through the people to make my destination. Few minutes later I greet the security guard.
"Hello sir," I smile at him, placing my hands into my pockets, stretching my toes.
"Hello, Rosline," he greets back," how do you do?"
"I do well, thank you," I smile warmly," you?"
"I too do well,"
I laugh at the formality. I nod as I tell him to have a good day and make my way in. I take off my coat and pull up my hair. I pull down my sleeves and loosened my scarf. As I sit in my cubicle, I see my boss coming my way, smirking at me making my stomach turn.
"Hello gorgeous," he winks.
I nod back fearing my words would betray me.
"You okay?" He asks, still smirking.
I nod yet again.
"You let a strand fall," he says as he took the fallen hair strand between his fingers then lingering it on my neck. I flinch jumping up.
"Excuse me," I pace faster to the rest room. As I open the door I hear faint whispers.
"Poor girl doesn't know that that is sexual harassment,"
"What can you do? He is a perv and she is a sweet girl with no objections,"
"You think she wants it?"
"Yeah. Such an attention seeker. Though too bad she is no different that those escorts on the streets,"
My eyes widen in shock and my lips started to shake. I held back the tears and went in. As soon as they heard footsteps they stopped talking.
"R-rose," one of them stuttered.
I smiled," if you have anything to say please say it to me," I looked up at them," I won't bite."
I walked and stood next to them to wash my hands while they picked their pace and left.
I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. As I was walking back to my cubicle, my boss motioned us to move in a straight line to greet our CEO.
"Rose," my boss called causing me to flinch," you can go back to your cubicle," he looked at me up and down," you won't be needed,"
I looked down and smiled, nodding my head. I sat down on my chair and looked at the shutdown screen. This is not what I want to do. I never wanted to be in this place or in this job but I have to make a living after all. I gathered my things and was heading for the exist door as I took a glimpse of this company's owner. His shades covered most of his face but his jaw line was pretty prominent. I looked down and moved quickly before anyone taking notice in me. It was lunch break in an hour so I decided to head home and fix me something.
I took a look at my building before getting closer and closed my eyes. It looks horrible and smells like trash but it is what I can afford. I won't live with a roommate after my last one. I opened my mail and took whatever was in it and head up the stairs. The elevator is still not working and honestly no one is expecting it to. Even though this building doesn't have the best insurance and safety, it has one of the best locations. You can see most of the city from the rooftop. I entered my apartment and threw my keys on the counter. I opened the fridge and took out a bottle of beer then headed to one of the cupboards and took out a bag of chips then placed them at the coffee table. Before eating I headed to the bathroom and washed my face, then my eyes took a glimpse of the razor that was on the side of the sink.

I took it and a tear slipped. Who would've known that I would be this depressed, that I would be at the rear end of life. I pulled up my shirt and placed the sharped edge under my bra. My hands don't have any space anymore. Old scars are tempting to heal away and I am waiting patiently for them to heal completely. I miss wearing cut sleeves. Or you're just waiting for another opportunity to cut your arms again my subconscious hissed. I am a walking art itself, full of sorrows and pain, lifeless and dark. I cut a few and washed of the stinging pain. As I walked out of the bathroom, I fell on the ground helplessly and cried. I cried like always, like there is no tomorrow. No one cares. Not about me, not about nature, not about humanity, not about anything. Life is as shitty as it gets.

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"Where did you go?" my boss questioned angrily.
"Out," I stated the obvious," it was lunch break anyways," I stared blankly into his eyes.
"The nerve," he scoffed," you're working late this evening," he ordered. Little did he know is that I never do. He always bosses me, tells me to work harder than he does to others and I am sick of it.
"Okay," I sighed back to my seat.
It is already 11 o'clock and I believe that is enough. I am tired. I turn of the lights and head out. I press the button of the elevator waiting for it. Once the doors opened I didn't pay attention to a tall figure until he spoke up.
"Which floor?" he asks blankly.
"U-um ground please," I say without looking at him but the ground instead. The harmonising sound kept the tension quite in a leash and not once did I look up to see who is the man next to me. My hair is cascading down the sides of my face preventing him to see my face too.
"So you work here?" He asked, breaking the silence. I hummed my response.
Thank The Lord for the door of the elevator opened before he could proceed and I dashed out as fast as possible. I made my way to the café I work in night shifts. Not only does the job keep my mind off the world but also I don't have to meet anyone since I only stay in the kitchen. I either cook or wash dishes and those were my exceptions from the start. Two hours later, I am in my room, looking at the dim sealing and let the feeling of worthiness fill my void.

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Hello there,
This is a new story I am writing and I hope you enjoy it. I am passing through a phase in life that is not quite the best and this is a way of letting my emotions out. Hope you like it. You may comment, vote, or follow if you please.
Love, N.xxx