The New Girl (WWE FanFic) #WATTYS2015

Chapter 27 - Scrambled Thoughts

“I can’t Seth. I’m not causing any more problems.” I said forcefully, despite my subconscious screaming at me to talk to him.

“It’s not about Roman, or us, or anything. I just want to talk to you. I need to talk to a friend.” Seth said, his gaze looking away from me.

“Well you need to go and find one then.” I said harshly, instantly regretting it. I could feel the pang of guilt hit my chest and I took a deep breath in and out. “Sorry.” I apologised. “It’s been a bad few days.”

“It’s fine. I understand.” Seth said, a small smile on his face.

“You don’t even know the half of it.” I said, wondering if I’d said too much already. He still had no idea Roman kissed me and lied about it. Seth still thought I’d been the one to cause a problem… Yet he was willing to talk to me?

“Look, I don’t want to force you. I just wanted to talk. If you need to be somewhere else just say!” Seth fidgeted awkwardly as he waited on my response. I’m just going to be honest with him. What’s the point in lying?

“No Seth. I don’t have anywhere else to be or anyone else to see. I just don’t get why you’d want to talk to me after all that’s happened.” Seth grabbed my arm and walked me down the corridor and stopped at a dead end, where all the TV crew’s camera boxes were stored. He sat on one and patted next to him so I took a seat, nerves building up with every second. It was like talking to a stranger. I didn’t have a clue what to say.

“I miss you.” Seth blurted out; unsure as to whether it was the best or worst way to start the conversation. “We all do. We were training yesterday at the gym and we just didn’t know what to say to each other… Normally we’d talk about things we’d done and reminisce on the week’s events but we didn’t. We couldn’t.”

“You had a lot happen this week.” I said, not wanting to go into detail about the events of the week that caused me to lose so much.

“I’m over that. Roman gave me some advice and I tried to focus on Leighla, we’re actually getting on really well at the moment.” Seth smiled. He looked happy in love, would it matter if I told him about Roman’s lies?

“I gave you that advice too.” I said, feeling defeated. Everyone seemed to come to me for advice but so far no one seemed to be listening to it. What was I wasting my time doing?

“I know. I think it just hit home harder when I’d been left broken by seeing you and Roman.” The smile he had had now fallen. He looked upset and fragile. I placed my hand on his leg and sighed. If only you knew the truth.

“I know, and I’m sorry about it all.”

“Was it just bad timing or…?” Seth couldn’t finish his sentence. I swallowed down the sad feeling that was rising, my eyes beginning to feel prickly as tears began to form.

“It was nothing against you Seth.” I said, going along with what Roman had told me to say. I don’t know why I was doing it; he hadn’t bothered with me since that day. I know what I’m like though; one day I’m going to slip up and it’s all going to fall full force back on Roman.

“I just want to know what you were thinking…” Seth said, looking into my eyes. “We’d had so many moments where I thought we had a spark there… Like when Roman walked away from you after ‘Truth or Dare’.” He looked away and sighed.

“I noticed those moments too.” I said quickly. I knew where this was going and I didn’t want to go there.

“So what happened then? You knew I’d come to talk to you, Roman came storming in to tell you about me and then you kissed him?” Seth was getting more agitated. This is why I said I wasn’t going to speak to them again. How am I meant to get out of this?

“It’s difficult to explain.” I sighed. Roman lied! He kissed me!

“Yeah, it is when you have to deal with it head on instead of sweeping it under the carpet. One day you’ll have to tell me.” Seth said, crossing his arms.

“But you’re fine with Leighla so what’s the problem?” I said, having no other way of getting out of this conversation.

“I still think about it Lucy. I still lay awake and wonder if there could have been an ‘us’.” My body froze and lost its ability to function. He’d never said these words to me. I’d never known about his feelings until it was already ruined.

“But why? If everything is so perfect with Leighla, why would you be thinking about me?” It felt strange saying me when this whole time I’d assumed he was talking about somebody else. Rosa and Paige were right.

“I don’t know.” Seth said shortly. “I don’t understand any of it myself.”

“You’re happy with Leighla, let’s not ruin that. Let’s not get all tangled up in a web of feelings and lies and make it worse for everyone. At the end of the day we all have to work together and it’s best to do that without the tension.” I said, even though it pained me to. Even though I had some feelings for Roman, I was sure my feelings for Seth were stronger – what held me back, though, was the fact he was in a happy relationship with Leighla. Seth’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he mouthed an apology before picking it up.

“Hey what’s up?” He started, but instantly his facial expression turned into a scowl. “I’m talking to a colleague… Yeah and what if it is? What are you talking about?... We’re just out back where the camera boxes are stored.” He didn’t need to tell me who it was. I already knew.

“Roman?” I asked carefully. He nodded as he pushed the phone back in his pocket.

“Yeah. How could you tell?”

“You sounded like you were being grilled for information.” I shrugged. “Well, I assume he’s on his way here to shout at the both of us?” I rolled my eyes.

“What’s your problem with him all of a sudden?” Seth said, picking up on my negative vibes. He kissed me and then covered it up to keep you on his good side and made me lie and lose my friends.

“Nothing. I guess I’m just a bit sour after everything that happened.” I shrugged again, looking down at my hands.  

“There’s something, Lucy. I know you. I’m not stupid.” Seth put his hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him.

“There is… But I can’t tell you.”