Drafts Of Her Heartbeat

Poetic Dreams

I had to return back home today because of a project, that Aviral thought he couldn't handle. It was a meeting for the project and the clients demanded my presence, as it was promised to them. They were important foreign clients, and I had no option but to return for the day. After attending the meeting, going through all the paperwork and stuffs, I bid them bye, with a signed deal in my hand. This project was too important and I was working on it for past few months and I finally got it.
Checking my watch I saw it was 10:30pm and too late to drive back to my wife. I had planned something else today, something to show her how sorry I am. I just wish she gets it and tried to fathom the depth of emotions. Deciding to go back to Khaitan house and rest there for the night, I left the office premises.
It was 11:30pm by the time I arrived back home and both Dad and Beji had fallen asleep. They didn't even knew that I was coming home today. I was hungry and there was no food left in the kitchen. A habit of Beji to never make extra food and let it go waste. I smiled as I folded my uncuffed my sleeves and unbuttoned my shirt. Suddenly a memory flashed by in my mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was nearly 1:00pm that I returned back home. I had gone clubbing with some of my clients from foreign and lost the count of time. Entering the dark house, I assumed that everyone were asleep already. Passing by, I saw a faint light coming from the dinning area. A bit of drunk, still I followed the light.
There she was. My wife, sleeping with her head on the table, casseroles of food beside her , along with a few plates. Hairs tied in a rough, messy pony tail, clad in her night suit, she looked the mkst peaceful soul on earth. A pious beauty, too innocent to be tied up with a dirty man like me. As if sensing my presence, she woke up. Immediately I retracted my hand.
"What are you doing here?" I asked in a harsh tone.
"I was waiting for you to come. You just change, I'll serve you the dinner." She replied politely, taking the bowls to heat food in the microwave.
"No need. I have already had it with my friends." I stressed at the word friends.
"Oh" was all that she replied, before cleaning up the table for the night.
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Today when I am hungry I realise how much of a bastard I was. No matter how rude I was, how late I was, she was always there waiting to serve me, feed me. That was a time and then there is tonight when no one is there to feed me a morsel. Huffing and shaking my head lightly I turned and grabbed a pack of cookies from the cabinet and went to my room.
After getting freshen up, I remembered about a diary which had a rough plan of the deal. I immediately started searching it. Though it was quite kate at night, I wanted to find it right now so I could give it to Aviral, and go back to pursue my wife, while handles the project without any problems.
Searching through number of books, copies, files, I came across a diary. A simple grey diary, one I had never seen before. Opening it there was the name, AROHI AVASTHI and then KHAITAN added to it with a different ink, all written in beautifil cursive. It was her diary, maybe she forgot to pack it, when she left here in a hurry. But how come I am seeing it only today? Should I open it? Read it? After a little contemplation, I opened turned the page hesitantly. There were poems in it. All in short and yet beautiful handwriting. I read the date, it was one of, after our marriage. Settling the bed, I started reading it.

Holding your hand,
I am stepping in a new world,
My heart full of dreams and hopes,
But my mind filled with nervousness and Fear.
Unknown fear of spending my life with stranger,
Not knowing what will my future behold?
But all I know is, it will surely have you.
Fluffy Memories will be created,
All my fear will vanishe away,
The day I will look in your eyes,
One, which will be full of love and care.
______*______
This one seems to be written right after our marriage.

You are handsome,
A divine being,
Your pose is of my prince charming.
Your gaze is melting me,
Your eyes holding me,
I am a prisoner, willingly,
Ready to hang myself,
If it seems you to be pleasing.
______*______
Oh good Lord, when I despised her, She admired me.

I wondered.
Your anger,
Your rudeness,
Behind this facade,
I can see a lonely child,
Hungry of love and care,
Afraid of having someone as companion,
But craving for a partner in eternal life.
Push me away,
Kick me,
Or distance me,
I will build a bridge,
To feed the child,
To show him what is love,
To shower him with my care.
______*______
There was a promise in her poem. She had seen through me already.

You are not a knight-in shining armour,
I am not a damsel in distress.
You are a broken soul,
I am sponge to squeeze away pain.
You have pieces shattered, scattered,
I am here to pick those up and rejoin them again.
You are a bottle full of hurt,
I am a vessel ready to share your weight.
I know it will take time,
But together we will make it out,
Replacing the anguish,
With pieces of happiness,
Together we will emerge as a,
Portrait of happy family, again and again.
______*______
It was enough for me and I closed the diary with a thud, unable to read anymore. My eyes starting to water reading her thoughts. All the time while I was busy breaking this angelic girl, she was weaving a future of happiness and ideas to repair me. If her kindness in past was a slap on my face, her words were the final lunch in my guts. She had a flair for writing, explains her majors in Literature. My wife is a box full of surprises! These revelations motivated me to get her back and do her right at any cost. I need to mend our relation.