Fuelling Forces || The Walking Dead

Part 9: Mending My Heart Back Together

We were busy with planning to burn the dead Walkers when an unexpected visit from Axel and Oscar halted us. The two of them wanted to leave the prison, which everyone but T-Dog and I we're okay with. They knew nothing about what life was like outside of those fences.

While Rick, Daryl and Glenn went get wood to burn the corpses, Walker's started to invade the courtyard, forcing the group to split up. I learned that someone had broken the latch on the front gate when I ran past there, which allowed the Walkers to enter. Whike trying to close the gate, I cursed out Rick for his inability to see a shit decision when it smacked him straight in the face. When we all got back togther, the group suspected that it was either Axel or Oscar committed the crime and soon after, a loud prison alarm had sounded off. I almost fell over as I watched the surrounding Walkers get attracted to the prison.

This was bad, very bad.

Did they not understand the meaning of Walker Safety Precautions? Rick, Daryl, Glenn, and the two inmates made their way to the generator room to shut off the alarm while I ran around the place in a frenzy, trying to look for Lori to protect her. She asked that of me and so I'll make good on my promises. She grew to be one of my good friends, during the "roadtrips" we became closer. Well aa close as I'd allow anybody. I shared with her the story of my actual survival and she told me why she had gallivanted with Shane.

T-Dog and Carol were also running around, they had turned down my offer for help so I ran some more. I found her with Maggie and Carl in a generator room and I was sickened to see that Lori had already gone into labour and speaking to Carl holding his hand. My stomach was squeezing and my regurgitate reflex was soaring as I remembered the story of my own child's birth.

"Lori! No you've gotta stay with us!" I snapped at her after she let go of Carl's hand and Maggie tore open her womb with the knife.

Lori screamed out in pain. I winced as she grabbed my hand tighter. Where was Rick when you needed him?

"Remember your promise!" She kept repeating in different tones varying with pain.

I didn't want Lori to go, but I couldn't find it in my hardened emotion to cry. Soon enough we heard nothing but infant as Maggie handed me the bloodied baby. My hands were shaking as I watched Carl deny Maggie and tell her to get out of the room. The boy was changing in front of my very eyes and I didn't know if it was a good change or not. I watched further to see him stop crying and shoot his dead mother in the head. I held the squirming baby girls ears against my chest to block out the loud gunshot and protect her ears however I couldn't look at her just yet. My nauseating memories made me afraid that she would get eaten too. My eyes were on the door the entire time, I knew also that I wouldn't let that happen.

I held the hungry baby close to my chest so that she understood that she was safe as we travelled back to the prison yard. My eyes did not want to stop leaking, I could keep the sobbing under control however. My whole body was shaking in shock and I was crying once again. It was pitiful. All I did was cry. I didn't need a screaming baby right now so I rocked her back and forth by the fire escape while waiting for the rest of the group to gather.

We walked down the metal stairs towards Rick and the rest of the survivors, I was still shaking. It made the baby start crying, so I hummed a lullaby. The poor child was cold, hungry and motherless. Rick was already demanding that we go find Lori but as soon as he heard his daughter's cry he swerved around towards me.

I tried to form words to tell him that Lori didn't make it but nothing came out. Rick assessed my state and the blood around my hands and skeeves as well as the bloodied baby wrapped in a jacket in my arms before completely zoning out and sobbing for the loss of his wife. I tried to keep it in control as I assessed the groups losses again. T-Dog and Carol weren't present. My eyes squeezed shut preparing for the worst. A few stray tears escaped again. Carol was so sweet and broken at the same time and T-Dog was genuine. He was real.

Rick stalked away, he picked up an axe in the prison's courtyard. I figured out what he was doing pretty quickly, handing the baby to Beth and running after Rick just to have his back. I couldnt lose him too. He was in a reckless state of mind at the moment. He slaughtered various Walkers along the way just like I did in the hospital.

I stood beside the doorway after he paused to think about his circumstances just to find Glenn barging into the situation. He wanted to convince Rick to join them outside but Rick shocked me as he slammed Glenn against a wall, before walking off without a word. I guided Glenn back to the food court, taking the baby back from Beth and finally looking at her.

My heart mended itself as I assessed her properly. She was a pretty baby, just like her mom. I walked around with her, humming her asleep for now. She wouldn't stay asleep as we needed to feed her. Daryl and Maggie entered the cell block with baby formula. Beth quickly prepared it and gave it to me.

I cooed the baby quiet and fed her the formula. I pictured again my dynamite man with a baby in his arms absolutely enamoured by the little being resting on his chest.

The poor thing was so hungry. My heart called out for my own little boy, but it all seemed okay now as I unintentionally bonded with this little girl. I wished Rick would come see her.

It would do him a world of good.