The Ex's

Chapter 5: Dumpster the Donkey

After 6 hours of driving and talking about the events at that gas station, Petunia and Dilbert have finally arrived to DonkeyWorld! "Oh thank the heavens!" Petunia sighs as she quickly gets out of the car and lays in the grass, almost making love to it. "My ass is so numb..." she weeps to the grass. "Sorry Tunia... I guess we coulda been here already but.. Bubba... that poor dude... I'll need to look his family up and tell them the news..." his voice trails off. Petunia gets up and adjusts her shirt and looks at Dilbert. "Dilly. I'm sure his family doesn't care." She says as she pats him on the back, he looks at her and then shrugs; "Yeah, you're probably right." He begins to nervously laugh, "Its not like his mother should know her baby boy's head got blown off by a shotgun!" He then falls to his knees onto the grass and cries hysterically. Petunia looks at him and all the folks who are staring at him. "Dilbert get the fuck up!" She nudges him. He stops crying and gets up. "Sorry." He chuckles slightly.

The two make their way to the DonkeyWorld Motel-Hotel check-in; DonkeyWorld is known for its wide range and variety of cast and characters. Also its odd choice of colors. Think of DonkeyWorld as if Chuck E. Cheese and Freddy Fazbear had unprotected sex... DonkeyWorld's mascot; Dumpster the Donkey's primary colors are dookie brown and lemon squirt green. Despite the disgusting colors and scenery, Dumpster the Donkey's motto is: "Spend Fiddies, Pet Kitties, Suck Tiddies!"

At the check-in they see a line; "Awe shit man." Petunia says annoyed. Dilbert uses his height to see what the problem is, he sees there's a family arguing with the front desk person. "Now listen here sunny boy!" The angry bearded man yells at the front desk person, "We want to extend of stay for another 5 days!" The front desk worker giggles, "Like dude.. THAT RHYMES!" All the other guests moan and groan. "Petunia, I think that dude is high." Petunia looks at Dilbert and spaces out. "High on what?" Dilbert shoots her a concerned look, "Ya know... weed! marijuana! Mary Jane! 420 BLAZE IT!" The front desk man hears from afar and raises his arm. "Hell yeah! Smoke everyday!" The guests groan and begin yelling at the man in unison... "WE WANNA CHECK-IN ALREADY!" "WE NEED A ROOM!" "HEY MAN IM TRYNA GET SOME CAN YOU HELP A BROTHA OUT!?" The place becomes chaotic. Dilbert and Petunia back away and go sit down in the lobby.
They sit and slump on the sofa; "We'll never get checked-in." Petunia says disheartened. "Even though we have VIP tickets..." That's when Dilbert's face lit up. "Hold on!" He shoots up and marches his way to the front of the line. While the guests are still berating the front desk guy; Dilbert interrupts them. "May I butt in for a sec?" The bearded angry man becomes calm and proceeds to step aside for Dilbert. Dilbert smiles and turns towards the dude. "Hi sir, how can I help you?" Dilbert; without saying anything shows him the tickets; the man examines them and then his eyes widen. "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" The front desk guy turns to his coworkers; who've been doing nothing while he was getting yelled at all this time, and screams, "THE VIPs ARE HERE!" The coworkers stop and turn; their eyes widen as well. "OH MY GOD!" They all say. The front desk dude leaps from behind the counter and hugs Dilbert. Dilbert freezes in shock, "Um..." The coworkers comes out the side door from the back of the checkout place and all gather around Dilbert and the dude, holding hands and skipping in a circle. Petunia watches and quickly goes over to Dilbert. "Um. Hi. What the fuck is happening right now?" The coworkers look at Petunia and smile; "She's here too!" They all cheer and grab Petunia by the arm and pull her into the circle and begin twirling around them both. Dilbert and Petunia look at each other and roll their eyes. Meanwhile all the customers in the line begin to holler at the crew telling them to get the fuck back to work. All the coworkers chime and sing; "Dilbert and Petunia ARE HERE!!!" Petunia finally loses her shit and yells at them. "WILL YALL STOP WITH THE SINGING AND SUCH! AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" Her face becomes more redder than usual, "AND WILL SOMEONE SHUT THAT FUCKIN KID UP!?!" She pointed at a little boy with a baseball cap on; he had been crying throughout all the madness. His parents quickly come to his defense, "Um ma'am whom the fuck are you and why are yall so fucking special?" The mom said angrily; her neck veins were showing through her skin. Petunia looks at the woman and glares, "Bitch, we don't know."