Gabriel: Prequel

twenty seven

[ gabe's pov]

"They've all left, Gabe. I checked their hideouts plenty' a times, and nun' of them were there." Relief, hatred and satisfaction swirl inside me, proud of the outcome. To get rid of the ring leaders from the prostitution clubs has taken careful, neat planning of its own: I couldn't risk Darren or anyone else finding out, so I looked elsewhere for help - Diego. After taking Axel down, his men fled to other gangs or probably ran away, but, either way, they didn't threaten us again. Instead, floods of new arrivals entered, thirsty for the same notoriety we had earned. We have risen to infamy, and, in essence, have become the most dangerous in our city. Darren had talked of international affairs, but that was on a need to know basis, and as he made very clear - I don't need to know. The attention struck him hard, inflating his ego largely, making us engage in shit that it is too dangerous. Although the pay seems more than enough for what we're doing, our lives are in constant threat. For others who are at the bottom of the gang's hierarchy, like Diego, pay is meagre, and care is void.

"Thanks, Diego, I owe you one."

"Ya ready to repay the favour now, Gabe? It's just that our mam needs the cash for dinner," he grins, his chipped teeth making a showy appearance. I simply wave my hand dismissively, nodding my head. 

"Don't worry about it. You did a solid job - it was more than enough. I'll pay you extra, especially, for not telling Darren."

He grins, ramming his head into my chest, "It's okay, boss!"

The sheer enthusiasm he radiates is contagious, making me curve my lips upwards, too. Out of all the newbies that joined us, Diego stood out by miles. He didn't care about lust or murder, he just wanted money for his family. Thievery is what I can get behind. 

"Have a safe night, Diego. Let me know if you need anything else," I scruff his head in a similar way that I do with Aubrey.

"But, where are ya gon' be?"

"I have a job now," I smirk, standing a little straighter, "Just some office stuff on the side, pay is shitty, but it's kind of alright."

"As long as you're happy, Gabe," he smiles, probably not that convinced. 

I nod, turning around to follow the path out of the alley to the main road to work, letting the cool air wrap itself around me. Slightly smiling to myself, I nod again, "Yeah, I think I am."

______________________

The tainted amber of the sun gently nudges Aubrey awake as her eyelids flutter open, confused. As per usual, she wakes up after a quick nap by the time it rolled around to six pm, angry and hungry. So, hungry. 

Although she had transitioned to bottled milk fairly recently, she often becomes fussy if she wants breast milk, to which I am in no position to argue with a baby for. The only problem is, that by the time the sunset shadows the world, Harper is hardly ever here - and the times that she is here, she becomes too tired, too cold, too distant to want to deal with Aubrey. 

Tonight, it's no different. 

The front door slightly opens but halts as a hushed voice echoes softly around the air. Cradling Aubrey in my arms, I creep over to the door, hiding behind a wall to listen. Normally, I think I would hate myself for violating Harper's privacy like this, but her inexplicable behaviour is keeping me on edge. I briefly mentioned this to Rehan, who, after cussing her out, offered a serious answer: postnatal depression. Admittedly, the signs have been crystal clear but so hazy at the same time. Recently, it's rare to see her without a beer in her hand and that's when you do see her. It wasn't always like this, though, and so I wonder.

"I can't do it to him. I'm sorry, but...it's too late."

Any thought process I had fogs up at her words as they tease my curiosity. Is the elusive "him" me?

"Things have changed, Darren! I'm a fucking mom, now - and a wife!" She sighs, barely inaudible, "It's hard."

Naturally, the sigh after "mom" doesn't miss me, and, instinctively, I wound my arms around Aubrey tighter.

"I know I said I would...and I still want to...leave...to just-" She stops mid-sentence as the volume decreases, as she probably walks away. I decide to not confront her: maybe because seeing Aubrey isn't what she needs now, and maybe because I'm scared the same applies to me, too.

Truthfully, she just isn't the same anymore and probably will never be. The same woman who embodied ferocity, who lived her own life, had become absent. Left in her place, an empty shell of a woman wanders around, her heart not quite in it anymore. 

"How much did you hear?" Stealthy as a predator circling around me, her prey in sight, Harper stands by the doorway, her eyes flashing with an emotion I can't quite recognise. 

"Just enough," I reply curtly, cradling Aubrey quietly as her eyelids flutter closed. 

Leaving her in her crib, I wonder away, afraid that I'll rip apart the predator if I stay for too long. The room isn't spacious enough to regulate my thoughts - it's too claustrophobic, locking me in. Things are changing too fast from what they were and what they're like now. A suffocating wave of change washes over the space inside, threatening to keep me here forever, not knowing whether the thread between Harper and I has ended or not. I busy myself for a few hours in another room, switching between domestic affairs and more illegitimate work. After a while of the two, though, my mind becomes fuzzy and I crave the touch of softness against my skin from either of them. Quietly, I pace around the house to find Harper or Aubrey, but back away when I see the two of them cradled against each other, both of them emitting small sighs. Maybe Harper truly isn't happy and wants to run away, but I don't believe that the comfort of her kid would make her want to leave.