Gabriel: Prequel

thirty

[ harper's pov]

( a year later lmaoaopnspqnpd)

Streamers and balloons of every colour of pink dot the house in a colourful fashion, patterning the house suitably for Aubrey's birthday. Walking fast around the house, she squeals with delight and glee at all of the colours, jumping around. Perfectly, snow had fallen earlier today, gently coating the ground, amplifying her excitement.

"Hey, no, you just got changed, do not eat the cake," I warn her, steering her away from the table of food, navigating her towards Gabe hiding her presents. 

"Just give me five more minutes and then we will begin," he announces to the guests, lightly shoving her into a room of adoring guests, ready to lavish her with love and attention. I get ready to join the queue of attention but quickly check my phone, ignoring the pile of messages from Darren, masking my worry with an upturned smile.

"Alright, everyone, it's the birthday girl's day, so let the day truly commence!" Gabe calls in a comical voice, getting everyone to cheer for her as she dances in the centre. Nicholas and Rehan, being the only company we actually enjoy, pile her with gifts upon gifts: Nicholas dazzles her with a rare smile as he embraces her slightly, letting Rehan massively grin at her, pulling her into an eternal bear hug. Other guests circle around them but she remains adamant to stay with them two, shoving food into their mouths to Rehan's delight.

"This is like a breath of fresh air, right?" Gabe saddles up next to me, fondly smiling at her.

"Yeah, it's pretty fine, just like you," I wink back, patting him.

"It could be like this everyday if-"

"Jesus, Gabe, stop. Not today."

"You can't keep putting this conversation on hold, Harper, it's not fair," he sighs, following me as I walk to another room.

"It's not fair you keep making me talk about it when I don't know what else to say!" I throw my hands up exasperatedly.

"It's not your problem, it's the gang's, to be honest. It's Darren's! I don't like this life anymore."

"I don't want to leave this life, Gabe, just trust me on this," I take his hand, searching his face for anything. It's the only life I know, and to be away from it, to live a normal domestic life is scary. "I bet with more time, I'll take over Darren and then we can change things for the better."

"We don't have more time, Harper! This life will get you - us - killed. What about Aubrey's life, huh? She will resent us if she has to live like us, please."

"Gabe," I sigh, pressing a hand to my head, "forget her resenting us - what about us? We argue about this all the fucking time and we get further away instead of coming to an agreement. I don't want to resent you."

His face that I love so much, the face that changed me, crumples, his eyes widening, "But...you're beginning to, aren't you?"

I nod, letting go of his hand. "I'm going to need some time today, to just sort stuff out. I'm tired of fighting with you."

"Me too," he agrees solemnly, watching me drop his hand.

"I need a break, okay? Remember, alright, we said we would end it before we begin to resent each other. If I'm not back before, I don't know, seven, then it's done. Forget me and move on. Erase every single memory you have of me and start a new life - the life you always wanted." 

I can't bare to see the pain on his face anymore, so I turn around and leave through the door, briefly debating whether to leave my ring or take it, settling on the latter. Cold air snakes itself around me, sniping and pinching me, wrapping me in an icy embrace. I walk with no direction, just in need of air, letting my feet take me wherever. I find myself settling at a lone hill, overseeing the rest of the city. From here, I see everything: Gabe's house; my house; his school; the gang home and every other spot that we made ours. Every spot I see is a tiny fraction of my brain reminding me of the stability of staying with him. He will be the only man I'll ever love as much as I do right now. Yet, I don't know if anything will ever equate to the continuous cycle of arguing. I can never give him the life he wants: I can't give him the normalcy he craves or needs to recover from everything he's been through. I can't make him the person he made me, and for that, I will always be sorry for.