Warning: Mentions of suicide and extreme depression. Please please please, if you think this will trigger you do not read. I don't want anyone to get hurt or relapse.
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You sighed deeply as your turned your volume to 100%. The happy music blasted into your skull through your headphones. You believed that if you listened to happier songs all the shit would cease, or at least that's what you wanted to believe. Deep inside that disable soul of yours, you knew the shit was never-ending. God, how you wanted to just tune the world out with the sounds you most enjoyed. The sound of rain or fire. The sounds that truly let your mind wander off into neverland. BUT the would decided to give you a big fat 'Fuck you' and fuck things up even more so than they already were. You hated to admit it, but school was your favorite place to be. Well, other than the hallways or bathrooms. More like, yout favorite places were your classrooms. The limited safety you felt in the very thin walls was probably disturbing to 'regular' teenagers. You hated it but loved it all at once. You hated the fact that your god forsaken school was your safe haven, but you were also grateful to have one. You felt semi safe with your music blasting in your ears. It was when the noise you were so desperately hiding from, got louder than your music that was at full volume. You wondered how the whole neighborhood wasn't awake and plugging their bleeding ears. Shutting your eyes, you wished for a rainstorm One with shit loads of thunder and lightning. One that would cause the house to shake so that maybe just maybe the noise would stop. Unfortunately for you, that storm wasn't coming. That was the thing. Nothing or no one was coming. Nothing was going to tell your parents to shut up for once. To stop screaming at each other like little children fighting over the same toy. You were stuck. In a house. With thin walls. Screaming parents. And a life you so desperately wanted to be rid of. That was your last problem. You were too much of a coward to actually take your life. You had been scared by everyone your whole life about suicide. Warned about the effects it would cause on others. Told that if you did indeed commit suicide, you would go to hell. They had scared you so much that even when you were seconds away from your freedom, you just had to walk away. You hated yourself for it. You couldn't fucking do it. You were too scared. This just gave you another reason to hate every single thing about yourself. You thought about suicide a lot. You had even wrote down the people that might be a little upset. The list wasn't long. Just your parents and your two friends, Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi. Though, you doubted Tsukishima would be too upset for too long. Your brain was brought back to reality when you heard the next song was 'Walking on Sunshine'. Rolling your eyes you took off your headphones only to be met with worse music. The music of their constant screams and profanities they threw at each other. You desperately scrolled through your contacts until your eyes found Yamaguchi's number. You pressed the call icon rapidly until you saw the dialing screen. You held the phone up to your right ear and plugged your left one hoping for some sense of calamity. But you could still hear your mother cuss out your dad for cheating, and your dad cursing out your mom for doing the same as 'revenge'. A few tears made there way down your rosy cheeks, and then came the sudden flood as you waited for him to pick up. When he finally did you gasped out.
