Author's note: Hey everyone! This is a little one shot to hold us until tomorrow's episode. M rated for smut. I know this probably isn't the direction the actual show is going, but my mind went there after I watched the first episode, so I decided to write it. Hope you enjoy this and leave my your thoughts if you want to!
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There is a trail of cold sweat running down Andy's nape as she wakes up.
Her eyes are still closed shut tight, her breath elaborated as her mind is unwilling to let go of the content of the nightmare she had, even though her body is awake all of a sudden, pulled out of the land of a dreaming in a sharp grip.
She is still in the dream's haze when she searches for him. Her left hand reaches out, trying to find the warm, naked body on the other side of the bed, draped between the sheets. "Robert." She whispers in a voice full of sleep when her hand comes up with nothing as she realizes the bed she is currently in is small, way smaller than the one she shares with him, when his warm body occupies the other side.
When she gets no answer from the man who is supposed to be sound asleep beside her, she finally sits up, blinking as she tries to adjust to the reality and to the pitch black room.
They haven't shared a bed for the last month and a half, she realizes as a chill goes down her spine, and something in her belly twists, makes her feel nauseous. She wants his arms to wrap around her, to make her feel safe, to cast away all the darkness in her like only he knows how to do.
She has to wait another 47 days before she will be able to find comfort in him, and tonight, every single one of these days seems long and exhausting, as she knows the one thing she really wants is just right out in her reach, but she can't grab it.
Andy wipes the single tear that fell on her cheek with the pad of her thumb, counting down from ten to one slowly, as she practiced on that app she uses to calm her nerves. She breathes in, then out slowly, and after a few rounds of that exercise, she doesn't feel like the walls of her small bunk in the station are closing in on her anymore.
She can't find her sleep again after that. She tosses and turns in her bed, too hot, then suddenly too cold, tucking herself under the covers all the way up to her chin, only to kick them away a moment later. She rolls from her back to her stomach to her side, trying to find a comfortable enough position that will allow her to find her way back to sleep, even if not peaceful, even if laced with nightmares. But it seems like she can't be at ease unless her head is propped against his naked chest, using him as a human pillow.
And that's strange, how fast she got adjusted to the mutual routine they shared, and how long it takes her to break out of those little habits, even though the time she has spent with him was oh so short, and a great part of it was draped in a dark cloud of sadness.
It's those little things she misses the most, the ones that in the heat of the moment, she didn't really pay attention to, didn't really take the time to appreciate and soak in. It is only the time without him that makes her miss the way he brushed his fingers through her hair softly. The way he whispered a thousand words of love into her ear when he thought she was sound asleep. The way he sneaked into her early morning showers, claiming they should save some water in the process and rescue the earth.
Andy turns on her belly again, reaches her hand out to look at the time on her phone, plugged in and resting on her little bedside table.
1:47 AM.
When she finally lets the fact that she is not going to get any sleep seep in, she places her bare feet on the ground, feeling the coolness of the tile floor creeping its way up all the way to the base of her skull.
It's a bad idea, but other than stirring in bed all night, that's the only idea she has.
Andy tiptoes her way out of her bunk and into the small bathroom. It's not her shift, so she is free to come and go as she wishes, and after everything, she doesn't give a damn what B shift might think if they see her sneaking out of the station in the middle of the night. Warren decided to quarantine in the station, much like her, but she knows him now, knows he is a heavy sleeper, and there is no way he is going to hear her all the way from his bunk. She brushes her teeth and splashes some cold water over her face, trying to rid herself of that dragging feeling of that bad dream that seems to follow her everywhere she goes. She slips her feet into the first pair of shoes she manages to come across in her locker, and is happy to realize those are the kind that doesn't require any complicated lacing.
