Carrying the Torch

Chapter 7: Run and Chase

I groan as I shut off the alarm; I hate university days. I roll out of bed not ready for the endless boring lectures and the slutty college girls that still have the stench of liquor from the night before on them.

I prepare myself and put on some tight skinny jeans with a loose fitted black shirt and my favorite boots. I turn on the news while making myself a bowl of cereal and milk as my mind once again wanders to Lily and Taylor.

Lately, they've been in my head and on my mind so much it's like they're brain tumors that have made a home in my brain. Which, I don't appreciate.

  But, if I've got to choose I'd rather think of Lily, so how the hell will I make her remember me? How do you make a girl that can't possibly rely on her brain to remember you, remember you? You have to make an impact on her heart. How am I supposed to make her fall in love when I don't even know how to myself?  All I have are questions and no answers. How the fuck am I supposed to get anywhere with this?

Becoming frustrated I pull on my messy hair, why the hell do I care so much? I don't know it's just unfair, someone so sweet and innocent who has experienced tragedy and isn't even aware of the fate bestowed on her. To make it worse she's cursed to live that day through and through just to repeat it all over again the next day. She's trapped and doesn't even know of her prison yet. She needs to break free.

I realize I've spaced out and have neglected the news channel I had planned on tuning in to and turn off the TV, grabbing my homework off the desk and throwing it into my backpack heading out the door to start a new day with the same old problems.

...

I take a seat in my English class not in the mood to hear another lesson. I look up as Taylor walks in late frantically looking for a seat; there's one right next to me. Fear strikes me again realizing how close we'd be. Her in such proximity... I don't think I could bear it. We make eye contact and I hold my gaze and watch her as she walks up the aisle and looks at me and gives a curt nod before taking the seat in front of me. I sigh loudly in relief and I'll admit I'm a bit puzzled by her actions. Doesn't she want me anymore? Why wouldn't she sit next to me if she had the opportunity?  She doesn't have the right to be okay when I'm not.

I play with my pen as the professor goes on about tone and points of view affecting the story. My eyes are glued to the back of Taylor's head and I can't help but to notice her hair and how she's cut it shorter and sticks to straight hair now. I loved her curls, I remember after the first day I met her I looked for those curls for a week.

"Harold be a dear and take Anthony's spot for picking up the recycled trash today. Niall can take down the notes for you." Mrs. O' Connolly asks me with that warm smile of hers.

"Yeah guess I could fill in for the old fart today." I smile glad that I was getting out of class for a bit.

"Alright go down to the office and you'll see Mia and you guys can go off together." She smiles giving me a pass and I take it quickly making my way down to the office. Mia greets me immediately and we make our way around the school entering all the classrooms to clear their recycling bins.

I open the door to the next class and it hits someone hard on the head.

"Oww damn!" She holds her forehead her face scrunched up in pain. I can't help but smile despite the circumstances it's her, she's here and real. I've finally found her. The laughter of the class snaps me back into reality.

"Shit I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to- I didn't know anyone was behind the door. Shit... are you okay? Do you need to go to the nurse?" I quickly sputter out removing her hand to examine her forehead. And, would you believe it? Despite the large red bump on her forehead she managed to still look beautiful, angelic. The laughter of the class still hasn't quelled. But, it's becoming more of a background noise to me. I don't hear it much.

"I don't need any help from you. I'm fine." She quickly moves away from me a distinct frown settling on her features. What did I do? I mean besides hit her with a door. The laughter goes on.

"Taylor here I'll give you a pass to the nurse and this young gentleman can help you down there." The teacher says giving her a pass and I thank the heavens for the opportunity to be with her a little more. She takes the pass and walks out the door past me without even a glance in my direction. I follow after her.

"Hey slow down a bit you might trip." I warn her using my long legs to catch up to her.

"You don't actually have to come with me I'm fine. Go away." She snaps walking fast in long strides to get away from me. What the hell did I do? I frown taking her by her wrist and turning her around to face me.

"Hey, what did I do? Why are you so mad at me?" I frown awaiting those plump lips to open and answer although, what I really want to do is have her put those open lips and let them slowly shut on mine.

"Oh come on really the old door trick? You people always have to go around embarrassing people just to make your friends laugh and impress them. I'm sick and tired of it why won't you guys just leave me alone?" She pulls away frowning with tears in her eyes.

"It was an honest mistake. I didn't mean for it to be an embarrassment or fun anyone to laugh." I continue not willing to let her go after searching for her for so long. All she heard was the laughter while to me it was just background noise?

"Don't tell me you didn't hear the never ending laughter. It wouldn't stop. It was all to be heard. It won't stop. They don't stop." She snaps again this time not giving me time to respond or stop her. I watch her walk away basically running from me again. Why do you always run from me Taylor?

But, I understand.  It won't stop. They don't stop. She must run and I must chase.

I snap out of my daydream and the first thing I see is that blond hair. It's changed. It's become straight and short rather than curly and long. I've changed, I'm no longer naive, no longer happy, no longer that Mr. Perfect guy with a bowl of curls. I'm that asshole manwhore who's fucked every female in the town just because he's fucked up and got fucked over. But, through all that's happened with her I still understand.

It won't stop. They don't stop. I must run and she must chase.