Take Me To Your Heart

An Acceptance and an Adventure

When I get home from the restaurant, I see a text from Yasmin from over an hour ago. I don't want to get married.

What? That was my line.

I immediately dial her number, throwing my keys down on the table. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"I think he's going to propose, Sejal. I'm panicking." She says, completely frazzled.

I almost want to laugh at the absurdity. "Okay" I say instead, doing my best to be soothing. "Why do you think that?"

"I found a box and my parents have really been pushing us. Oh God, Sejal." I'm frowning now, the amount of her fear in her voice piercing through my Ferit-induced daze.

When marrying Ibo was a far off concept, Yasmin had been okay with it. She was happy enough in their relationship and Ibrahim was definitely an angel of a man. But, now that the decision was in front of her, she was obviously balking.

Breaking up with Ibrahim would mean blowing up everything. She would likely be bringing the wrath of her family upon her and losing the comfort of her relationship in the hopes that she would find someone better. And it was honestly hard to imagine someone better than Ibo.

But, part of me was glad and so proud at how brave she was being for even considering this. I've always thought that she needed someone better suited for her. Someone to challenge her and dazzle her and care for her the way she did everyone around her. Ibrahim just wasn't that man.

"Breathe, Yasmin. Nothing is set in stone, you can do whatever you want to do."

"You know that's not true." She huffs frustrated. "I don't even want to think about what everyone will say. And how can I hurt Ibrahim like that? I mean I love him, Sejal, of course I love him. But, marrying him? I just don't know if I love him like that."

To me, her panic speaks volumes, but clearly she needs some more to time to process. All I can do for now is try to calm her, try to convince her of her own agency. To hell with the world. She has to do what she needs to do.

I hang up after awhile without mentioning my own potential impending marriage. She seems like she has her plate full already. I fear that this will go as it always does when it comes to breaking her family's heart. Yasmin is too pure to really burn the bridge.

Zeynep would be shaking her head at Yasmin's situation, full of advice. I feel an overwhelming pang of grief for my friend, the weight of it seeping all the energy from my bones. I can't believe its already been three weeks since the accident. And at the same time, I can't believe it's been only three weeks. Every day since the accident has felt ten years long. It's not even 9 PM, but I drop into bed, wrapping myself tightly in my blankets, and fall asleep immediately.

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I'm startled awake by my phone ringing. I grab around for it, disorientated. I look up at my clock, bleary eyed, and realize it's only 11 PM.

"Hello?" I say groggily, not having bothered to check who was calling.

"Sejal Auntie?"

"Bulut?" I'm wide awake now – he sounds scared. "Are you okay?" What was the kid doing up at this hour?

"Sejal, they are fighting very loudly." He tells me, panicked.

Oh god, does he mean Demet and Hakan? My heart clenches in fear. Goddammit.

"Okay, baby, you know what, I'm going to come get you." I say, without a moment's hesitation. "Where are you? In your room?"

"Yes." He whispers.