Under the Stars

21. No matter how far

Chapter 21: No matter how far

Mia's POV

*****

I couldn't stop thinking about Theo's words for that entire week. The only other person who had told me he loved me before that was my ex, and me, being the young fourteen year old I was, instantly said it back without even knowing what loving somebody meant. I certainly knew that love wasn't that after he broke up with me for having hair on my arms like a normal human being. 

Theo was not like him, that much was certain, but the way he said it shocked me, and with him saying it so quickly, I was not able to see if he was being serious or if he was just saying it, just like how I constantly told Layla that I loved her. I didn't know how to think or feel about it. I liked Theo more than I had ever liked anybody in my life, but I didn't know if I loved him yet. The concept of love was one I had not yet grasped, and I did not want to once again make the mistake of telling somebody that I loved them when I did not. 

The other problem was that I did not want Theo to think that I did not care about him if I didn't say it back. I hadn't had the chance to talk to him after that, and I felt bad for not saying it back too him, but I would have felt even worse if I told him I loved him and then realised that I didn't.

When Thursday rolled around, my thoughts about the situation only seemed to increase. I was nervous at the fact that I was going to talk to him and face him, before even having had the chance to talk it out with Layla. Layla always helped me when it came to calming down and starting to think straight, and in that moment, I certainly needed it. 

My mind was barely there at school, and all my mind could wonder on was how my conversation with Theo was going to go. Deep down, I knew that nothing could ever make my relationship with Theo awkward, but I also did not want to hurt his feelings by not saying that I loved him back. 

As I got home, I quickly headed to the shower and finished my homework as quickly as I could, knowing that Theo would probably call me before going to meet his friends. The next day was a public holiday, which meant that I did not need to finish all of my work, but I, being the kind of person I was, like to finish it before so that I would not have any pent up work later on. 

My heart started thumping loudly as time started passing, but surprisingly, it was not because I was nervous. I was excited to talk to him, and I was also curious to know if he actually meant his words. I hated the fact that I had never been good when it came to my feelings, and I was the kind of person to always bury everything inside, meaning that I had always avoided myself from ever feeling anything. After all of the years of being betrayed and abandoned by people who I had thought were my friends, I decided to shut myself down when it came to strong feelings, only allowing them to come out when I was reading a book. 

I hated to admit it, but I was one of the people who always lived in a storybook, where the world is always better than my own. Books allowed me to live in a fairytale, even if not the ones I was used to when I was younger. I lived in the world of witches and wizards, the world of princesses and villains, and the world of girls just like me, but whose lives are just a bit better. When Theo and Layla came around, however, I did not need to open a book to be living in a fiction story. I had read enough books to know that my relationship with both the twins was just like that in teen fictions. All those cliche best friend's brother books, and the even more cliche good girl-bad boy books which I had been so convinced would never happen in real life, suddenly became my life. 

As ironic as it is, I used to scoff whenever I read about the good girl changing the bad boy, and vice-versa. I had met enough guys to know that once a jerk, they would always remain a jerk, and yet Theo came around and changed my whole perspective on the issue. I suddenly started empathizing more wit the guy of the stories, cringing whenever the girl was too stupid to realise the impact she had in the boy's life. If I had been that ignorant when it came to Theo, we might not have been in the situation we were currently in. I certainly would not have asked him to be my boyfriend, and I certainly would have never accepted the fact that he suddenly seemed like a completely different person.