Our Little Lolo

Mistake after Mistake

It has been six weeks since Camila turned me down. I have layed in bed for six weeks only getting up to eat and pee. Normani has been stay in with us pretty much being a mother to Lily.

I love Lily but honestly I am in no way in a spot to have a child. I just want to forget everything and move on with life. Without any trace of the past months. Wich sadly includes Lily.

I know I seem like suck a bitch. But this isn't good for Lily. It really isn't. And even of nobody believes me. I have made a decision based on my condition and Lily's well being. Camila has seen Lily maybe twice since she left us. Once by accident at the grocery store.

Lily is not a happy child anymore. Her eyes dont sparkle. She sits in her room doing nothing but crying until she falls asleep. I cant watch my princess spend anymore time in an unstable home and yes I get its my fault thats why I am doing this.

When we pulled up at the orphanage Lily looked at me and spoke to me for the first time on a while.

Mommy why we back?

How do I tell a child I am leaving her.

Lily you have to stay here. Mommy cant take care of you. I want you to have a diffrent mommy. One that loves you.

She didnt respond apparently still taking in what I said. I got out and picked her up. Holding the precious child in my arms. I didn't notice her crying until we entered and I saw her eyes red.

I had called ahead so the counselor was waiting assuming Lily would fight us.

I tried handing the child to her and Lily lost it.

Mommy no mommy please no leave me.

She screamed amd cried as loud as she could. The counselor started walking off with the child and I stood there.

Listening to her scream. I started to cry. Letting her go.

Mommy I love you. I sorry I be good. Mommy nooo I want you. I want you mommy. Why mommy.

Once she was out of sight I got into my car. I was so pissed at myself for failing her. In was crying so much that the roads were a blur. I drove to Normani's house as quick as possible.

Banging on her door I started to sob more as memories of Lily rushed into my head. Normani opened it shocked.

Lolo what's wrong?

I couldn't even answer I collapsed. I curled into a ball as my breath caught. My heart physically hurt. I felt as if I was dying.

Camila's POV:

I got a call an hour ago from Normani saying Lauren was hospitalized. She explained everything. To say the least I was pissed. I am pissed.

My little girl. My angle was fucking gone. Lauren gave her up. I tired calling the orphanage I wanted her back. But she had already been placed with a newly wed family. Fuck man Lauren is so stupid.

I dont even care that she is depressed over this. So much so she was hospitalized. Tho was her fault. This was all her fault.