𝐽𝐽 𝐼𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠. JJ Maybank

aphenphosmphobia

[  𝐸𝐷𝐼𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝐹𝐼𝑋𝐸𝐷 𝑀𝐼𝑆𝑇𝐴𝐾𝐸𝑆 ]
—
aphenphosmphobia - fear of being touched or loved
—

y/n had always been afraid of love. ever since she had gotten out of her abusive relationship that she was trapped for a year during her first year of high school she was afraid of being touched, especially loved.

growing up, she was an only child until her mother gave birth to a baby boy when she was 5 years old. her parents never looked at her like the way they looked at her brother. being compared everyday by her parents to be like him was a pain. she wanted to be loved. even when her brother wasn't born she never got the attention when she even needed the most.

she didn't know what love was when she was in elementary school, middle school, junior year until she thought she understood it in her first year of high school when a guy confessed to her. the first two weeks she felt like everything was amazing until the first slap was hit on her, the way her parents would do when she did something wrong.

everyday she felt like a doll being controlled by him with strings, fragile strings that one could snap to make her fall. she felt alone but her childhood best friend jj was always by her side although he didn't know about the abusive relationship until when she got dumped by the boy when they had an argument.
he's been by her side everyday, not like he never was but he paid close attention until he slowly realized she had aphenphosmphobia. something he wished she never had.

how will he confess his love for her now?

— 𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡 —

jj watched as the beautiful girl in front of him focused on her homework. they both agreed to hang out at her house to study but instead he was admiring her while watching her do her homework. he wanted to hug her, kiss her, anything that would make her able to let him love her.

"i'm gonna go get some snacks okay?" jj said. y/n hummed in response. he got up from his spot and went to the kitchen to grab whatever snacks she had. as he was looking for snacks his kind wondered to the times where they were both young, how she didn't have that phobia. he hadn't realize how long he was standing there till he felt her presence. he jumped in shocked and moved his hand to the air making her flinch.

"i'm sorry.." she said below a whisper with tears forming. he never thought in a million years. yes, a million, to think he would make her cry thinking he would hurt her. "y/n-" she fell onto her knees and brought her hands up in her face like she was surrendering. "don't hurt me.." jj slowly approached the poor girl and knelt down in front of her. "please..." she begged until she felt warm hands covering hers.

she looked up to see a frown on jj's face she had never seen before until her attention was brought to their hands. "jj.." he held her hands tighter. "i know how hard it is to move on, i know how traumatized you must be to all the things he did to you and i'm trying to help you, fix whatever and no matter how long it takes i'm determined to fix you together again. i love you y/n.. ever since you were with that guy i couldn't help it but break in half." "jj.." i watched as tears rolled down her pretty face.

"let me love you.."

he looked down before feeling her hands get out of his gasp and a pair of arms wrapped around his neck.

surprised, he tightly held her and breathed in her sweet scent. "i want to love you but im scared.. i know you won't hurt me, i know that! but i can't help it but be terrified of what love can do.." she cried. he lifted her chin to look at him. "don't be you know why?" she waited for my answer. "because i'm not him, i'm me and i'm here to show you how to love again"

word count: 707

this was trash LMFAOD SORRY