One way or another

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I am trying to get better.

Really, I am.

I just don't get why 

I only feel better when I am

hurting myself in one way or another.

I skip breakfast, lunch, dessert.

I take knives to my legs,

rose thorns to my wrists.

I'm not clean anymore,

but I ate 800 calories.

Yesterday, I was clean

but I ate 400.

I see an announcement that says goodbye.

I don't respond anymore.

And I can't say anything...


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