In the midst of the chaos, I am glowing with life. An intellectual in glory. An individual in passing moments. And yet when I become removed, I ask of where I am. I really do wonder, as I sit there in a daze, while my spine bends into easy positions. As I stumble out the door, and what is beginning to settle in takes action on my conscience, I realize I have left to do something very important. Where have the bones gone? I wish to question, but I realize this is unrealistic. I have no answer. Every time I step up to swing the bat, I can never leave the cage. I am pressing hold. I say, please pause for a moment. Sweetheart, take a break. Relax, because you know you deserve rest. My darling, my precious angel, enough with the damages. Aren't you tired? Go back to sleep, disregard, look away, just focus on finding a moment's peace. At least for a while. Don't picture the bones thirty years from now. They may not be with you. They may be hard as a rock, or floating over the ocean and through the wind.
Wouldn't you like a hand? A sliver of help? What an insane question! What a filthy request! Baby, just spend a little extra on yourself tomorrow night. Deteriorate until you can't stand the stench. Live through your mind and become your wishes. The skin won't survive on it's own. But where have the bones gone? I look into the void. I stumble through the graveyard in exhaustion. I repeat, just settle down and take a breath. Let it go. But if you really, truly must, then succumb to the frenzy. The mind begins to leave the body. The spine continues to bend. Word gets out, and the amber alert surfaces. Please, find these bones! They say, shut your mouth. Take a load off. You won't survive this. You need to rest. Don't push yourself over the edge just yet, before this game of hide and seek comes to a head. But I need to find the bones. I know they are somewhere around here, I could've sworn I just saw them!
I shuffle around through the attic. I dust the bookshelves. I panic, my eyes dot every which way, in search of the bones. Limbs give out. The spine bends in a 360. I scream until my lungs fill with blood. I claw at the walls, cracking fingernails, popping vessels in my eyes, collapsing without the bones. I need them, but I willfully lost them. Where are they? My vision dives into saturation and the colors blind me. Boneless, marrowless, helpless. Crawling down the gravel road and across the concrete. Pedestrians stare in shock. My legs have died. My arms are nearly useless. My whole body is bloodshot, and I cannot find the bones. Should I give up? Should I take a break? Absolutely not. I accepted this mission. There will be consequences if the bones are not found.
In a sloth-like state, rolling across the dirt, I ask myself the same question. Where have the bones gone? And again, I have no answer. Every time I run down the hill, I end up at the top. Every time I scream, the echoes do not end. Every time my spine bends, I go berserk. Bone deficit, liquid marrow, exposed tendon, elastic skin. I open my mouth to scream once again, and my teeth come falling out. Incisors, canines, and molars, oh my! Gone again is the ability to speak fluently. My arms and legs collapse. Everything in my line of vision is neon. Almost gone, and physically debilitated, is right when I finally remember where the bones are. I stumbled right past the tombstone in the graveyard that reads "here lies the bones". I can't believe it. I missed my chance to dig up the bones. My body has hardened, and my mind is a ticking time bomb. Skin begins to disintegrate, and every vein on my body is visible. I am exposed. Boneless. Bleeding out in the dirt.
Where have the bones gone? I buried them in a trance. I hid them in the graveyard. I thought I was keeping them safe. I led myself right into demise.
