Magnetic Attraction

Chapter 17: Not meant to be

Draco was not comfortable in the slightest. Pansy had her back against his front, and her head was leaning against his shoulder, but although this was the way he and Hermione had slept, he couldn't nod off. She wasn't Hermione, meaning she wasn't good enough. He was loath to admit it, but this wasn't working. The only thing keeping him from asking Pansy to leave was the fact that she was already asleep. He knew better than to wake her up.

He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing to Merlin that he would fall asleep. The longer he was faced with the truth that Pansy wasn't good enough, the harder it was to hate Hermione. And he did, hate Hermione that was. He hated that he was still thinking of her, that she was so irreplaceable. More than anything, he wanted to rewind the past two weeks, to go back to that uncomplicated state where only purebloods mattered and she was just Mudblood Granger, below him. He wished he could be so mindless again. Ignorance was bliss, as they said.

But even ignorance was out of the question now. There was another thing he wanted, more than to return to his state of naiveté. He just wished he could have come back to the Head Dorms half an hour earlier, having never known Hermione still had feelings for Weasley. He wanted above all to be with her now, his arms wrapped around her torso as she drifted off into an untroubled sleep. Was that too much to ask?

Yes, he thought sadly, it was too much to ask. There was too much against them. Everything was against them. And there hadn't been any 'them' in the first place. He just hadn't seen it until the day the attraction had broken. All there had been was her need for attention and a warm body, and his emotional instability caused by his mother's death.

But what about the attraction? His mind ventured softly, the thorn in his side. Draco closed his eyes, shifting so that his forehead rested against Pansy's shoulder. Whatever happened to 'false love won't fool magic'?

It was a glitch, something wrong with the charms, he reminded himself, drawing up the memory of Hermione's shocked face, illuminated by purple light from the snap of the magic. The two thoughts conflicted, and he grunted quietly in annoyance. Well, maybe not, but she doesn't love me now, and that's what matters.

His other half disagreed, but did not push the subject further. There was no need to respond anyway, for Draco had opened a floodgate of remembrance involving the girl he had given up on. At first it was just the moments from the past two weeks, Hermione gazing up at him in fear as he yelled at her in the infirmary, Hermione, terrified, staring up at him with wide eyes as he insulted her after Narcissa's funeral, Hermione, scared, when she saw him after waking up on the previous Saturday morning. Then more came, from sixth year as she glared daggers at him when they met briefly outside the Room of Requirement, only an hour before Dumbledore's death. In fifth year, when he had held her and some of the DA members prisoner in Umbridge's office. Then fourth year, when he had attempted to curse Potter and Imposter-Moody had turned him into a ferret, she had been there. She had disapproved of Moody's method, but had laughed all the same. Third year, when she had been absolutely furious with him after the hippogriff incident. Second year, the look of absolute hurt and mixed hatred in her eyes because of his very first 'Mudblood' comment. First year, when they were all still young and hardly knew each other, but he had scoffed at her Muggle clothing and thrust his nose up in the air in response to her curious questions. All he could recount was her fear, her loathing, or her disappointment in him.

It wasn't meant to be, a more familiar voice purred, one that had been with him for years. It trampled his younger Potter conscience easily, sinking its talons into his mind to remind him of who he was. Lucius' never-ending presence. It was a nice fantasy, but it will always remain just that, a dream. Think of who she is, son, and who we are. A Mudblood and a pureblood prince would never last. Leave her with Weasley, where she belongs. We must lead people like them, and look in control and powerful at all times. You remember that, Draco.