What If (Season 5 AU)

Chapter 10

Bellamy finds Clarke sitting by the fire outside by herself. Much like she was before the others arrived in the rover. Soon the go to war, fight for Shadow Valley, but for now they talk. More than ever Bellamy knew they needed this. For Augustus sake and their own.

He walks over towards her, not bothering to be silent. He knows she notices his presence because she tenses, and yet she doesn't look his way. When Bellamy sits beside her she reaches to close the book in her hand and leave, but he stops her.

"Clarke wait. Please." She does, reluctantly, biting her lower lip before sitting back down. That's all that she does, Bellamy notes.. She doesn't even bother looking him in the eye. "Beja." He pleads, catching her off guard with trig. And it works. Last she knew he spoke little trig, but then again he was stuck in space with two grounders. One being Echo.

"Chit dula op yu gaf in." She tests, and he chuckle not hearing the venom in her tone.

"Gon chichplei?" He says with more of a questioning tone than a statement. Clarke notices and glances his way before looking back at the fire.

"There's nothing to talk about, Bellamy."

"Yes, there is and you know it." Still Clarke keeps her gaze strained on the flames in front of them. Bellamy sighs deeply and reaches for her hand, only for her to snatch it away from him. "Please."

"Then talk." Her tone is short and cold so he knew he only had a few moments to say what he needed to say before she lost her patience and left. Or worse... Told him off or hit him. Which is something he might deserve a little in all honesty.

"It's about Augustus...and us."

"There is no us, Bellamy. There never was."

"Clarke-" she moves to stand and he take her hand in his, gripping tight. "I'm sorry. I know that I hurt you and I... I left you alone. I'm sorry for all of it. If I could have been here with you to raise the kids I would have. Please tell me you know that."

She doesn't pull away like before, but she won't meet his eye either. Progress is progress....

"I know. You don't have to tell me any of this. You're forgiven for that. You had no choice in leaving." As Clarke speaks Bellamy hears her voice waver before she looks his way. "I'm proud that you used your head and left, Bellamy. You survived because of that."

"But I left you behind. I left you and...and our son-"

"No! You don't get to do that. You didn't have a choice. You and the others needed to go to space or else you would have died. I know you wish you could have been there for your son but-"

"It's not just Augustus I wish I was there for. It's you. You, Clarke. And there wasn't one day that went by that I wish you were there on the ring with us. You should have been and now-"

"Now things are different. Fate had other plans, I get it. But I'm glad I wasn't in space." Her words catch him off guard and he finally releases her hand. It was as if she burned him. "I found Madi and made myself a home. For six years there was peace on Earth. No grounders, no War. Nothing. And you... You moved on. You're happy so I don't see a reason for talking about this anymore. What's done is done."

"You're wrong." Her head pipes up at her stern words before he continues. "I didn't move on, Clarke. Not really. Echo... It's complicated. And to speak honestly I'm no where near as happy as you think."

She scoffs and looks away, disbelief taking over. "You don't have to say that to make things better, Bellamy. We're fine. Everything is ok."

"Is it?"

She's silent then and doesn't bother to speak more on the matter. There was too much to unravel and too much going on lately to think clearly on this. All Clarke wants is peace and quiet, and maybe a good nights sleep. As much a she could get anyway. Of course that wasn't going to happen, not with the way Echo has been lingering around, and every time Clarke sees her she see her pounce on Bellamy. And every time her heart hurts more because of it. 

She shakes the thoughts out of her head as she looks down at the ground. Now wasn't the time for this. They had a long day ahead of them tomorrow and exhausting themselves with talking wasn't going to help much.

"Maybe, maybe not. All I know is its getting late and we have a long journey back to Poils in the morning." Echo appears from a tent and spot Clarke and Bellamy, her glare set on the blonde in front of him. It doesn't escape Clarke's notice so she takes a step back from Bellamy. "You should go. Echo's waiting."

"She's not what's important right now, Clarke. You are! Did you not here the part where I said she doesn't make me as happy as you think? Echo isn't what I want, Clarke."

Clarke stops, stunned, and turns to face him. "Bellamy..." She looks to the Azgadian coming their way, then looks to Bellamy. The last thing Clarke wants is to stir up more problems than are already there.

"No. Clarke, please." He begs. For what he doesn't know. Maybe for her to stay and talk more. For her to say she's with him always-together- just like before. But instead of saying anything she grips his hand with hers, a ghost of a smile on her lips, before she steps away. They can talk about this when there wasn't another War to prepare for.

Before Bellamy could get another word out, Clarke was gone. She was already half way to her tent by the time he looked her way. As she went inside to snuggle with her children Echo stopped beside Bellamy.

"Bellamy." The man in question turns around to see Echo by his side, much closer than he would have liked. The woman glances in Clarke's direction with a hint of displeasure before facing Bellamy. "What was that about?"

"Nothing." He steps away in direction of a tent and she follows, almost bumping into Bellamy's shoulders as he stops abruptly. 

"Are you okay?" He scoffs at her question and shakes his head, his hand ruffling the long curls in his hair. 

"I'm tired, Echo. I'm going to my tent to sleep in. Maybe you should do the same." And with that he leaves the spy standing alone.

Translation:

Trig: Beja
English: Please
Trig: Chit dula op yu gaf in?
English: What do you want?
Trig: Gon chichplei
English: To talk