What If (Season 5 AU)

Chapter 3

Once dawn had risen, Clarke and Bellamy had already gone their separate ways. Both were needed in different areas to help the others. While helping Jackson tend to the wounded and dead, she asks about the bunker, but he goes silent after that. No one will discuss the horrors from the dark. No matter how much she tries to pry for answers, she's always left with silence or empty excuses.

As she follows Jackson under a small bridge, Miller appears to say goodbye. Clarke wouldnt have thought it were strange given Miller's attire. He's wearing what seems to be a disguise. He doesn't stop to talk to her, either, and ignores her when she calls out to him. She follows then and sees people lining up with bags and guns, and that's when it clicks.

He's scouting the terrain for the army.

Bellamy sees her trying to talk to Miller and in an instant he's stopping Miller and another guy from passing. Clarke appears by his side. Bellamy tries to ask where they're going but Miller refuses to answer.

"Wish I could tell you Bellamy."

"What, did Octavia tell you not to?" He looks confused and slightly hurt by this. She really has changed. A lot.

"They're going to shadow valley." Clarke speaks up, drawing them to look her way. She walks in the direction of the building Octavia is having a meeting in, and Miller tried to stop her.

"Clarke. Clarke!" He pulls her arm and she stops to face him. "You can't just do whatever the hell you want here." She smirks at this. Once upon a time that wasn't true, and now it seems like a lifetime ago.

"I'm guessing you're moving ahead of the army, to scout forward terrain." Miller glances away which is all the confirmation she needs. "Which route are you taking?" And again he doesn't reply. "It's sandstorm season and the wind moves in a predictable path. I know this because I've made the trip dozens of times. Trust me, you need my help."

Bellamy moves aside to stand by her, listening to what she has to say. Miller and the other scout sigh and follow her to see Blodreina. She needs to hear what Clarke has to say as well.

Octavia isn't pleased with the interruption, nor are her followers in the meeting for a war plan. Bellamy tries to step in front of his sister to make her stay and listen to Clarke, and that's when guns are pointed in his direction.

"Please O, just listen to what we have to say." Octavia had the people stand down so Clarke can explain.

"Octavia we're all on the same team. No one wants to get to that valley more than me." She says, her eyes glancing towards Bellamy. "It's my home. And my family, my kids, are still there." Octavia steps back and looks at her curiously, but Clarke doesn't give her the chance to question her statement.

She speaks up and explains why the path they're taking is wrong. While the sea route may no longer have water, it doesn't mean it's safe to pass. The sandstorms are more than sand, some particles were crystallized during primfaya, making them as sharp as razor blades. The tents and people will be torn to shreds.

"Look, the hydro-farm is barely feeding us enough as is. If this valley is the only livable place on earth, then it has to be ours."

"Diyoza thinks the same thing." Bellamy speaks up.

"Then we fight." Octavia leaves as do her followers, leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone.

"Am I crazy, or were they going to kill me for getting in her way?" He asks, worried and angry all at once. Clarke doesn't know what to say to that, she looks down and shakes her head. So much has changed.

A voice with a command is heard from afar and Clarke looks over his shoulder to see what's going on, and that's when Bellamy notices the burns. Her neck is still red from the shock collar.

"Clarke..." he reaches out to her and she jumps slightly, it still hurts a little.

"I'll be fine." She shrugs it off. He sighs and slumps his shoulders, of course she would say that. "What do we do?"

She looks out the door as the army starts preparing to march. She needs to get to the valley and get Augustus and Madi back, but a war was not going to make anything easier.

"Raven and Murphy are in trouble, and for all we know so are the kids and the others. We need to get them back. I don't think we have much of a choice. We gotta go with them." Clarke finally says, finding her voice and thoughts.

They still haven't talked about Augy yet, and to Clarke she's somewhat thankful for that.

"Six day hike through sandstorm country. Gladiator cults... what could go wrong?" Bellamy hand's over a pack with rations as he says this, and Clarke chuckles.

"What could go wrong?"

The two walk outside in the scorching sun as they follow the lead of Wonkru. The march through the desert wasn't so bad, at least not at first. The army of Wonkru, as well as Bellamy and Clarke, had hiked through the open plains of sand for hours on end, not once stopping to rest. Clarke, unlike everyone else, was use to such exertion. But Bellamy and the others were not. For six years she had climbed hills, hiked for hours straight, sometimes days at a time, with little to no rest; but for everyone else that was not the case. Sure Wonkru had fighting pits and spacekru had been training in in the Ring, but nothing compared to being out of practice on long hikes. Sure they were determined more than ever to get to Shadow Valley, but they soon needed to rest. Night had fallen and it was time to rest, eat, and plan.

"Omon gon oson" Wonkru says as they all prepare to eat the first of their rations. Clarke watches them from a distance as she sits next to Bellamy. They aren't part of wonkru, so they sit apart from them. They may have lost nearly a third of their people, but they were strong and unified. It was impressive. Clarke voices as much, which draws the attention of the man beside her.

"So is surviving alone." Bellamy says glancing at her through the fire in front of them. Clarke looks up at him and he can faintly see a blush creep it's way to her cheek. "How'd you do it?"

"Well I wasn't alone. I had Madi and... and Augustus." She looks at the fire, their conversation now taking a formidable turn. "They gave me a purpose to survive. To live."

Bellamy goes silent at this, his expression unreadable. It was then that Madi's words echoed through his mind. She was pregnant during primfaya. Augustus ran to Bellamy and called him dad. He yelled and said his mom was right. Bellamy wasn't sure how he was supposed to take this. He had a son. Clarke had their son. Bellamy missed every milestone in his son's life for 5 years. He missed the pregnancy, the birth... Augustus's first words, first steps, first everything. Clarke had to do it all by herself. Alone...

Bellamy never knew she was pregnant and he left her alone in the death wave. How was he supposed to feel? What was he supposed to think? No matter what he couldn't stay without dying during the death wave. He wasn't a nightblood. And yet apart of him was screaming in agony at the fact Clarke was left to give birth and raise their son, and Madi, alone. He should have been there but he wasn't- he couldn't. What could he do now?

Sensing the unease of the conversation and the deep thoughts running through Bellamy's head, Clarke stands and clears her throat.

"I'm tired." She says breaking through his thoughts. "You can have the rest of my rations." She hands over her food and starts to walk away, but not before he takes her hand and gives it a light squeeze. Clarke smiles before heading to her tent.

They may have lost six years together, but in that moment it seems as if nothing had changed- no time had past- and to them that was all the pair needed. Comfort and peace, if only for a second.