What If (Season 5 AU)

Chapter 9

"So...." Octavia trails off as she watches her brother sit in silence. He's been here for an hour to try and 'catch up' but with in twenty minutes he became mute and lost in his thoughts. It isn't until the third try of speaking to him that he actually looks to his little sister. "Who's the kid?"

Bellamy rolls his eyes and sighs, burring his face in his hands. "Its complicated."

"So I keep hearing." She replies, but its clear he will keep pressing for answers soon. "I guess those two are what Clarke meant when she said her kids were in the valley?"

"Yeah." Bellamy sighs in response as he runs a hand through his hair again. Something he does when he is frustrated or nervous. In this case, he is both.

He hasn't said the words out loud, at least not in this context. How was he suppose to say it? To his sister nonetheless while she looked like this?! Maybe six years ago she would have handled it better, but now... Well Bellamy wasn't sure how she would react. Octavia was completely different now and he wasn't sure if he should tell her. Hell he hasn't even spoken to Echo about it for the same reason. Though that was a much different needed conversation. That is to say once he clears the air with Clarke. But for now he was focusing on his sister, the woman sitting in front of him, while she waited for him to respond.

"Well? Are you going to explain what the hell is going on or are you going to keep staring off into space? Even though its not like you need to. I figured you'd have enough of that sight for six years." She jabs. Bellamy relaxes slightly at her attempted joke. Maybe the old Octavia was still in there somewhere. He takes a deep breath before ripping the 'band aid off' per say.

"Augustus is my son. Mine and Clarke's." At this he peers carefully at his sister, whom now has eyes bugging so far out of her head he's sure they're going to fall out. "O?"

"What... the HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" She jumps up, though not in anger-no not anger- but shock, and dare he say a little excitement?"

"O, I-we uh... its-"

"If you say complicated one more time I'm going to punch you in the face."

"Clarke and I.... we were together-once- before everything went to hell. We were going to talk about it on the ring but... she got left behind. Something went wrong with getting the signal to start the power and she didn't make it to the rocket in time."

Bellamy stops for a moment as he swallows over a lump in his throat. Even to this day he still regrets leaving her. Now more so because he missed out on everything with their son. It hurts, and it always will.

"We left her in the death wave but...but because of the nightblood she survived. And apparently she was pr-pre.." He can't make himself say it. Not aloud. Every time he tries the lump gets bigger and it becomes harder to stop the streak of tears on his cheek, he didn't even know fell loose. "I left her alone and she found Madi and had Augustus. By herself, O. Six years she's been alone with the kids and I-"

He sighs in frustration, not knowing what else to do or say. He need to sort this out with Clarke, wants to even, but she keeps pulling away. If he's right then she was angry at him for something he didn't know about, and now she's avoiding him at every possible turn.

"You want my honest opinion?" He nods. "Get your head out your ass and get rid of the spy."

"What?"

"You and Clarke are partners, Bell, Coleaders and dependents. You're like the other half to each other and you always have been. Now she's the mother of your child for fucks sake! You're god damn soulmates and its time you get over yourselves and start acting like it!"

Bellamy's mind swirls with everything his sister said. Was his relationship with Clarke that transparent?

"O it's not that-"

"Simple? Yes. It is." He glare at her, making her smirk. "Bell you've been in love with Clarke for years. Literally everyone knows this except apparently you two."

"Octavia..."

"Don't tell me I'm wrong. Because I know I'm not. Even the grounders, Trikru, Azgeda.. everyone knew. Hell the 100 had bets going on to see when you two would get together." At hearing this Bellamy's head snaps up from his hands.

"You can't be serious!" At her pointed look he knows she's telling the truth. "Fuck." He mumbles before ruffling his hair again.

"Just go talk to her, Bell. Sort it out."

"It's not that easy, O. She won't talk to me." At her raised brow he elaborates. "She's been avoiding me at every possible moment. And when we do have a minute to talk, she brushes me off."

"That's because you're an idiot big brother." He sighs in frustration, covering his face. How can this keep getting worse? Is it possible to be more confused than he already was? "Bell, why do you think Clarke is avoiding you?"

"I already told you I don't know."

"Has space seriously made you this slow?" Bellamy grumbles under his breath, ready to defend himself, but she cuts him off. "It's fucking Echo! Come on, Bell. How do you not know this!? Why do you think I said get rid of her? Clarke sees her as a threat, a wall separating you from her and the kids. How can you not see that!?"

And suddenly it all clicks together. Clarke had been acting fine until Echo had arrived with the others. He wasn't sure if Clarke had saw the kiss, but now he knows she did. More realization dawn's on him when he thinks back to their conversation outside her tent... 'I got pregnant and had Augy while you were in space with-' and then she stopped herself. She was going to say Echo.

Now the mixture of anger and betrayal makes sense. Clarke was avoiding him because she was hurt, heart broken. To her he moved on and doesn't feel for her what he had before Priamfaya. She feels lost, abandon, and wants nothing to do with him. She'll tolerate being around him for Augustus... But that's all.

Bellamy gulps as he processes this. He can't let this go on any longer. Clarke needs to know the truth. He stands abruptly and makes his way towards the entrance of Octavia's tent, glancing at over his shoulder.

"Go get her big brother."