TOny with a Twist of Lime (crime)

One cold warm sunny night, it was raining cats and dogs so I had to stop to get out of the snow. The cat Bob who had just fell from the sky said to me, he says to me, "I'm walking here." But i found it quite odd because he had just fallen so he had no time to walk anywhere. So anyway, I got back on my scooter, and drove five more miles to the nearest city, New York, Florida. The great town known for their jello shots. (this is foreshadowing, the shots... and the jello).

As I walked my horse through the town looking for a cottage to sleep in, I was amazed by the lack of jello factories for quite the reputation this place has. Like what the heck man, where do the jello be. So then I saw the bar, I parked my tesla outside, and drove in. There were big burly men everywhere, i felt so out of place, even though you don't know my gender or how I look (remember this please), but believe I was out of place. The men stared at me admiringly, for they knew I was out of place, but they didn't seem to mind, but I knew what they didn't, I didn't belong.

The next day, I was greeted by the smell of tacos, from Del Taco next door. So, I got in my spaceship, and drove the ten miles to get to the other side of the road, everyone asks me how the chicken did cross the road, but I have no answer, because most chickens don't have a spaceship, I am not a spaceship or chicken. When I got there it was nine in the afternoon, my eyes were the size of the moon. I wanted some oatmeal so bad, and because I could, so I can, so I do, get some pizza. THAT is when I saw... him. The most beautiful mexican africa american italian european I have ever laid my eye on, but I didn't actually get to put my eye on him... yet. His tall form made me wonder how he was so short, yet so unbelievably atractorive, or whatever, he did kind of look like a green tractor I would ride, but not in that way... well. I could tell by the way he cart wheeled towards me that his name was TOny, or maybe Tonaphy, no, for sure TOny by the way he flipped his hair forwards yet backwards, breathtaking. He was the cats meow, but not a cat, because I am not a cat, nor dog.. Well not a cat for sure, but maybe a dog, i really don't know, I mean you don't know. He looked at me like a was a hotdog on a pogo stick, like I was the most beautiful attractive handsome pretty being alive, because I am, not the hotdog though, pogo stick, maybe. He screeched a lovely, " hewo?" i didn't know he was asian, from the way he said that, i knew that I wasn't from around here. I knew instantly, he wasn't like the original slim shady, because i AM the slim shady, yes i am the shady, but I am NOT slim shady because you do not know. I was taken aback by his high deep voice, the voice of the dog god themself (because no assuming gender... or race, as in horse racing, though he would have won though with those long stubby legs). I looked at him and said, "i Love you". Taken aback, he smirked at me under his eyebrows, I can tell his underwear was pink with red hearts... no wait... cherries.

"Tahsk" he told me, I knew, he was aroused.

" I am not from around here, are I?" I told and asked him, he whinnied a reply. I giggled.He shirked away as he fluttered his butterfly eyes, it was kind of scary though because I never did see any butterfly eyes do the butterfly tango like his did, it was astounding. I knew,I was in love, and so did he. The soup then there did come, and I grabbed it from his mouth, and drank it. He was shocked in the best way.

" no one has ever grabbed soup from my mouth in the way you just did." I stood as he sat and did the hoka poka and did in fact turn around. I asked him what he was doing after school, though he graduated with the bears, NOT the ponies. "Oh, you know." I sighed in agreement. I wanted to know, but that explained everything. I pirouetted away, knowing he was impressed, i knew we would meet again, because his he said so, not only with his singing, but with his words. And with that, it was the end of the morning. Then I tooj a nap, because I am the godo cool, as they say in the woods, but not in the woods per say, division.