My Peter Dan || Phan

Chapter 4

~Dan's POV~

Phil was already on his way to come pick me up from the hotel when I had woke up. I rushed around the hotel room to pack up all my stuff and get ready at the same time, hopping around to pull on my black jeans. I just put Phil's Adventure Time hoodie on and sat on the hotel bed as I waited, biting my lip anxiously. I couldn't help but be nervous because we hadn't really seen each other since our argument besides skype and I just tend to get nervous I guess.

~

I continued to look from the clock to the floor. Where is he? It's been a few hours since he told me he was on his way. Did he blow me off? I don't know what I did to deserve to be blown off but it's okay, a lot of people did it to me before so I'm used to it.

I slowly stood up and went to gather my bags when my phone began ringing. I looked at the caller ID and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Who the hell is this? I hesitantly answered the call, the call that would change my whole life. "Hello?" I said with a questioning tone.

"Is this Dan... Howell?" The female on the other line had asked inwhich I respond with a simple 'yes.'
"This is the hospital, we have your friend.. Phil Lester, he had you as an emergency contact in his phone and although I'd love to explain over the phone it'd be much better to talk to you in person and explain more-" I immediately hung up the phone and quickly grabbed my bags, running around the room to make sure I had everything before I ran out of the hotel room and the hotel itself. I somehow got a taxi after running for a few blocks although my bags were keeping me weighed down a bit. Good thing Phil and I had been running lately, it certainly helped. I got in the taxi and told them the hospitals name that Phil was in, sorta breathy since I was out of breath from running. I hug my legs up to my chest and looked at my lap, picking at my jeans as a distraction. I didn't even know what happened but if the hospital lady wanted me to actually be there it couldn't be too great.

After a ten minute drive I was finally there. I quickly got out, dragging my bags behind me as I ran into the hospital and to the front desk. "I'm.. I'm here for Phil, Phil Lester." I spoke frantically, looking at the lady behind the desk with pleading eyes. I just had to know what happened.

"Why don't you take a seat, I'll have the doctor be right with you." I was gonna argue back and tell her I couldn't, I needed to see Phil but I didn't need this to be harder then what it was. I slowly sat down and played with the sleeves on the hoodie, needing some distraction.

It was only a few minutes before the doctor came out with the news I never wanted to hear. "Dan... Howell? Yes, well your friend, Phil, he was in an accident and he's not in the best of shape. You see, what we believe that happened was he was crossing the street and there happened to be a little girl who was about to get hit by car and Phil pushed her out of the way to save her, risking his own life." I felt my heart drop to my feet and wiped a few tears that I didn't even notice fall down my cheek. "Is.. Is he okay? Please say he's okay.." I said with a strained voice. He just had to be. I couldn't go on without Phil.

"You see, Phil was clinically pronounced dead at the scene but we had revived him and he's honestly not in the best of shape exactly. Soon after we got him to the hospital he had slipped into a coma. Which wasn't a bad thing due to all the extreme pain he will be experiencing when he wakes up. His ribs are shattered as well as his right leg and he certainly has some major head trauma, with that being said there is a possibility for him to have amnesia. He's very bruised and beat up in general, I can't sugarcoat that as much as I want to. If he does wake up his life will certainly be different." I didn't even try to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. It was mixed emotions honestly. I'm so damn proud of Phil for saving the little girl but at the same time Phil could be gone forever soon. I don't know what to do. I need him. I fucking need him. I feel so damn selfish for wanting him this bad but he's my reason to wake up in the morning truthfully.

"Can.. Can I see him?" I asked between shaky breaths, trying to calm myself down. The doctor hesitantly nodded and led me to Phil's room, letting me make the move of opening the door and going inside. I pulled myself together, taking a few deep breaths before I slowly opened the door and took a step inside the room. I slowly looked over at Phil and felt my legs go limp, my hands a bit shaky. He was... Broken. Everything. He looked so beaten up and it killed me inside because I couldn't help him. I couldn't take it back. None of this would've happened if I didn't leave. I pulled a chair up beside Phil and sat down, carefully taking his right hand between both of my hands, careful not to hurt him or get caught on the tubes and wires that hooked him up to machines. I gave his hand a soft kiss and rubbed the top of his hand with my thumb, trying to warm up his cold hand.

"I don't know if you can hear me Phil.. But if you can.. Please wake up. I need you. I need you more than anything and I'm so proud of you for risking your life like that for that little girl, you know, you're a hero. You're a fucking hero and I'm so glad to call you mine. Just please, please, please wake up and I'll make sure you never forget how much of a hero you've become and I'll take care of you and be the best I can be for you.." I said with a soft and shaky voice, slowly standing up to press a light kiss on his forehead and fix his dark hair with a slight smile. Everyone knows how picky Phil could be with his hair and I thought I'd at least do him a little favor of fixing his hair, not like it'd matter anyways.

~

After four days, Phil finally woke up. But how I thought it'd be was nowhere near it. With the lack of sleep, meals, and showers it only made it worse. Phil, his blue eyes finally open looked at me with such confusion and I knew, I just knew what it meant. His memory was gone and man did I wish it was me instead of him. I was nothing to him now, absolutely nothing. But that's not how it started.

I had finally woke up from a short two hour nap from the feeling of a hand running through my hair quite lightly and by the simple touch I knew who it was. I immediately raised my head and looked at the boy who meant the world to me with sleepy hope filled eyes.

"Phil! You're- you're awake! Are you okay, do you need anything, can I help?" When he looked at me with the look and I knew this was it. 'Phan' was over. He didn't know who I was and it was hopeless. I carefully let go of his hand and pressed the button that'd call the nurses to come, the emergency button. They came in and basically pushed me aside and out of the room so they could run the tests and stuff so I was kicked out into the waiting room, my face in my hands.

After quite a long nap, laid out across the chairs in the waiting room the doctor finally came out to tell me what was happening. "Well, Dan, Phil like I had inferred does have amnesia- But! Before you get too worried we aren't sure if it is permanent and we won't know how long it'll take for him to gain back his memories, if not ever again. But with that being said, it may not happen all at once, it may come back in small parts and he may not remember all of that or everything in general. However, we did ask about you of course and he didn't recognize you or your name which is why he had that look when he saw you first thing when he woke up. Now, here's the bad news since he does not remember anything about you we do need you to stay back, as in, not really visit him. It'd be best if you just left him be and if he still wants to be with you, let it, don't force him into it and don't make him because he is very vulnerable and would easily break if you accidentally snapped or something on him and we can't risk that. Which is why we are asking you to just go home for awhile, you need a rest and a shower and to settle back in your home. We will have you come back of course and if he chooses to, he can move back in with you or he may chose to go home with his mum who is on her way as we speak. I hope you understand, I really, really do." That was all it took to know I was never getting Phil back. He was officially never gonna chose me again. He was too good for me and now that he forgot who I am it'll show. It'll show I'm not nearly as great as people make me. I'm just.. Lost.

What do I do now?

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IM SO SORRY IF YOU HATE ME BUT I WANTED TO SPICE STUFF UP A BIT AND THIS CAME INTO MIND IDK BUT TELL ME ME WHATCHA THINK, COMMENT, VOTE, ECT. IF YOU WANT YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @JadeOCTW SO YEAH THAT IS ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY IM SORRY IF I MADE YOU SAD ILY BYEEEE