Finding Me

ninth grade

ninth grade wasn't particularly about loss of love more like loss of friends and who u thought u were.

this is a very short chapter.

I had a bestfriend. I followed her everywhere. I wasn't my own person. my entire life I was always someones shadow. never my own person.

me and her gradually began growing apart.

today I wonder if her growing up and me refusing to had anything to do with our falling apart.

we were super close thoe. on the outside looking in you'd think we had know eachother our whole lives. when we'd only known eachother for a year.

one day we got into a humongous argument that destroyed our friendship.

she went from friend to bully.

I had no one to sit with at lunch do to the fact I didn't talk to anyone. I ate lunch in my fifth period everyday for about two weeks.

then one day another friend asks me to eat lunch with her,and I did.

not long after the current leader of the group moved on to a new table and I became leader.

don't ask.

I became my own person took risks and developed new friendships.

I died my hair pink. and began to find the true me. the me who didn't belong in the shadows of anyone.

my old friend moved and I only saw her in fifth period.

by the end of the school year I had made new friends and became the leader of a click.

I had began to find myself.

that summer I moved and died my hair brown.

I met new people,broke a heart,and gained a close relationship with someone I never thought I would.

i grew and began to found myself.

Yet i still felt lost.

i turned sixteen.

i would change so much that summer that no one from my past would recognize me and thats what i wanted.

a new begining.

where no one knew me.

where no one could judge me for my past and all my mistakes that i was tired of having haunting me.

a new school,

a new year,

a new me.

PS remember the first heart breacker this is the year I finily dropped him completly.