Another Reason to Cry

Some Things Could Be Better

Present

"You never told him?" Alise asks, sounding more calm than the raging inner turmoil she suppresses. Jenny sighs out, running her hands down her face and clutching them together tightly in her lap. Her gaze remains away from Alise.

"I was young and stupid, chica. I was selfish. I didn't want him to know about you. I thought that by having you, I would always have a piece of him. He could never know. Besides, he was married. It would have ruined his reputation. I didn't want to do that to him." Jenny feels utterly hopeless. Her younger—and significantly more idiotic—self was clearly not thinking straight when she made that decision.

Alise raises an eyebrow in confusion. More questions raise, but she pushes them back down. One at a time, she reminds herself.

"But what about later on, when he wasn't married, like—I don't know, maybe now?" Alise questions, watching her mother slump significantly with a frown.

"I already lied to him about you."

Alise's eyebrows shoot up incredulously.

"Mom, why did you lie to him about me? He had a right to know." Jenny groans, standing up from the barstool.

"Chica, there's a lot of things that went into my horrible decisions. But at the moment, I would be ashamed to go back to him and say 'Hello, Axl. Remember my daughter? Well, she is yours. I lied to you all those years ago. Sorry for robbing you of fatherhood! Have a nice day!' He would be devastated!"

Jenny takes a sip of her coffee, no longer feeling its warmth flow through her. Instead, the emptiness that resides within her grows slightly. She sighs, finally looking at Alise.

"I have a photo shoot in an hour. I have to get ready."

And with that, Alise knows her mother is done talking about it, no matter how much still needs to be spoken of.