|Misunderstood| Ashton Irwin

Chapter thirty-eight

Ashton Irwin's pov

"Morning" I chirp as I join Bella at the kitchen table where she had prepared two cups of coffee. I take mine and take a sip.
When she doesn't answer me I look over to her and she is just sat there, staring into space.
"Hello?" I chuckle and wave my hand in front of her face. She snaps out of whatever thought she's having and looks up at me, her eyes red and glossy.
After last night we both went to bed feeling so happy, what's happened now?
"Have you been crying?" I ask, reaching across the small table to hold her hand. They were stone cold and it literally felt as it she had just froze, "Bella, what's the matter?"
A single tear trails down her face and I feel bad for her, even though I don't know the reason she is like this.
It seems like whenever things go right something always comes up and we're back to stage one again.
"Bella you need to tell me so I can help you" I sigh.
When she fails to give me eye contact I start to become concerned.
"Bella?" I trail off.
"Three years" she finally whispers.
My brain tries to think what she's talking about. I scan her face, to try and look for a hint but she has no emotion in her.
"Three years ago today. She's gone" more tears spill out of her emerald green eyes. She pulls her hands away from mine and places them over her eyes.
Then it hits me. Emily. It's the anniversary if her death.
I don't even know what to say or how to say it, instead we sit in silence, only the muffled sound of this damaged girls sobs fill the room.
I stand from my seat and take her hand to stand her up. She sniffs and looks up at me.
"I'm so sorry"
She collapses into my chest and I hold her in my arms. Her body feels so frail.
This time of year must be hard for her. Firstly her birthday when memories flood back to her of happy moments she had shared with her parents, now this, her best friend killed right in front of her. Also I know in a few weeks it's the anniversary of her fathers death as well, obviously it's going to be hard but I'm not going to leave her, I'll always be there for her.
When she sits down again she wipes her eyes with her sleeves then smiles slightly.
"She wouldn't want me to be like this" she shakes her head.
"Your right, she would want to see you happy and remembering the good things about her, not the day she died" I take both of our mugs and place them into the dishwasher.
"Well, I've got to be a work in a few minutes so I've got to shoot, are you going to college today?"
She nods, "I cant keep missing days"
"Okay, well see you later then?"
"Yeah" she tries to smile but I can tell she is still hurting. I place a quick kiss on her cheek.
"It will all be okay" I whisper to her then head towards the door.
When I walk out into the bitter cold air I shiver slightly then get into my car. I sit and wait for the air conditioning to get rid of the mist that had swarmed my windscreen.
Thinking of ways to help Bella in this situation is just like trying to fly. Totally impossible. If she had lost a pet or money or failed an exam, it would be easy to fix. Just replace it or try again. But when it comes down to losing people you loved the most, unfortunately, there is nothing I can do. If I could bring them back, I would, but I cant. If I could make the pain go away, I would, but I cant. I suppose only time and love can mend her broken heart. And thats where I can help. I can give her time and I can give her love. I don't care how long it takes or how hard it is, I will fix her, she will be okay in the end. And if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Finally the foggy mist clears away and I was able to start my car and drive to work. Hopefully Bella will be okay today.
***
Bella Waters' pov

The first year was the worse. I was so angry and just hated everyone that got in my way. I missed Emily the most during the first year. I missed having a best friend to help me and be there for me. Days I would just spend at home not moving nor eating or sleeping. I would just sit and think about what happened on that night, the terrible thoughts flooding into my mind, replaying over and over in my head, trapping me in a daydream that was more like a nightmare.
The second year I felt lonely, my drinking got worse and I pushed away anyone who tried to get close to me. This was the year Blake started picking on me. It sounds so childish but that just added to the pain. Before Emily died he was truly one of my best friends, but I don't know what happened to us. The second year was when people started not to care anymore. They just let me get on with whatever I wanted to do. People knew I was a mess and they wanted to help but stupidly enough, I wouldn't let them.
This year, the third year, would have been the worst year at first, but then I met Ashton. At the beginning of the third year I honestly thought I wouldn't make it another year on my own. I struggled. I had dug a hole too deep and couldn't get myself out of it, until the day I was rushed to hospital and had my stomachs pumped because of the alcohol. This was a wake up call for me, I started to get better, despite the emotional pain I was still feeling from the loss of my father, my mother and my best friend. Then one special day, I found him. I found Ashton Irwin. Yes, I've only known him a matter of months but I think he's my lifesaver. He picked me up when nobody else would. He helped me climb out of the hole I had trapped myself into. He helped me be me again, and for that I'm forever grateful.