|Misunderstood| Ashton Irwin

Chapter twenty-four

Ashton Irwin's pov

I cant believe I just kisses her. What the hell is wrong with me? I need to learn to control my...emotions?
It's just when I'm around her my head is all over the place and I just forget everything that matters in life and all thats important is being with her.
It's only now that it hits me that I've basically just cheated on Jess.
Way to go Ashton!
Well at least I know now that Bella doesn't have feelings for me in that kinda way, I mean, I saw the way she pulled away from me then ran off. She probably doesn't even want to be friends with me now and I've probably made it really awkward between us.
Luke replies to my snapchat, I pick up my phone and view it. I laugh when I see it, he's pulling a weird face and he said: cant wait to see you later.
If only everyone in the world was like Luke Hemmings.
I decide I should probably call Luke, I need to talk to someone.
"Hey Ashton" Luke says when he picks up.
"Hey, do you have a minute?" I ask.
"Depends" he teases.
"Luke this is important"
"Okay okay, go ahead"
"I need you to help me and keep a secret" I mumble.
"Well, it might come at a price of about £20?" He laughs.
"Luke!"
"Sorry! Okay yeah you know I can do that, I'm your best friend aren't I?"
"Yes, okay so you know how I'm at Bella's house right now..."
"Yeah?"
"Well I might of just kissed her" I admit and I hear him gasp.
"What? Oh my god? Why? How?" He asks.
"Well we were just messing about then I kinda just kissed her but then she quickly pulled away and said she needed a shower and left the room, but that was about ten minutes ago and I haven't heard the water even running yet so I take it she's just shut herself in her bedroom or something and now I don't know what to do"
The line is quiet for a few seconds then all Luke says is, "ooh thats pretty awkward"
"I know! And what if Jess finds out? She'll eat me alive!" I say a little too loud. I look behind me and luckily Bella didn't hear that.
"Okay, thats a bit of a weird thing to say" Luke laughs.
"Luke please, your not taking this seriously!"
"I'm sorry its just, it doesn't even sound that bad"
"What do you mean?"
"Well it's obvious you like Bella and you and Jess haven't been right since you moved in together so one little kiss doesn't matter that much"
"Yes it does! What if you kissed another girl behind Felicity's back?"
"Well, that just proves my point, mine and Felicity's relationship is stronger than yours and Jess', no offence, and I wouldn't do that to Felicity, I love her and wouldn't even dream of even looking at another girl but you and Bella obviously have something special that you don't have with Jess...." He trails off.
"No, I do love Jess, I do"
"You keep telling yourself that but do you really?" He asks.
Do I really love Jess?
She's pretty, has a lovely personality, she can be bossy at times and she's a great girlfriend but I guess Luke is right, we have been a bit off recently.
"Your right, I'm going to start to make more effort with Jess because I'm not sure what I would do without her. I do love her, of course I do, I suppose all couples go through a rough patch. But can you please just promise me that you wont tell her about the kiss because I don't want to ruin things with her" I plead.
"Of course I wont, who do you think I am?" Luke chuckles and I smile.
"Well thanks mate, I'll see you later then" I say.
"Yeah, cant wait to see you and to meet this Bella girl"
That sounded kinda rude but I know he didn't mean it in that kinda way, he's good at giving advice but he isn't so good with his choice of words.
"Me neither, it will be great catching up with you" I finally say before we both hang up.
I sit and think to myself for a while.
Okay, I'm so confused now. I rang Luke to get advice about Bella and he ended up making me feel like I'm not giving enough to my current girlfriend?
This is a big mess.
I think I've come to the conclusion that I love Jess, but I'm not in love with her.
I'm such a bad boyfriend, I honestly don't deserve her but I cant force myself to feel something I don't. I just feel what I feel and right now I'm not too sure what that is exactly I feel but it's something. Whether it's something to do with Bella or whether I just want to be by myself for a while?
I don't want to loose Jess, but maybe it's best if we should take a little 'break' from things.
I honestly don't know anymore, this is all one big mess that I just want to run away from.
I sigh to myself then stand from the sofa I have been sat on for over an hour now.
I hadn't realised until now that the water was now running and Bella was in the shower.
I decide to wait for her in her bed room. I sit at the end of her bed and look around the room. She had a light purple duvet with matching pillows and white curtains. Either side of her double bed was white bedside cabinets with a lamp on one and a digital alarm clock on the other. Her phone was sat in the middle of her bed. I pick it up and look at it. It's the same as mine, an iPhone 5 in black, except hers has absolutely no scratches or marks on it yet mine was covered in them. I press the middle button and the screen lights up. Her lock screen is a picture of her and a girl who has short blond hair and pretty green eyes. It's looks like its a selfie taken on a beach on a sunny day. The sky is blue and their hair is blowing slightly in the wind. They both have matching sunglasses on and the other girl is poking her tongue out while Bella is just smiling. They both have and ice cream in their hands and they both look very happy. It doesn't look very recent, they both look about fifteen or sixteen or something. It's a very cute photo.
I smile as I look down at it then listen as the house goes quiet again. The water is turned off and I hear the shower door open then close.
I stand and walk to the bathroom door and knock gently.
"Bella are you nearly done?" I ask.
"Yeah just give me two seconds.
"Okay it's just I kinda need a wee" I say.
I hear her laugh then the bathroom door unlocks, "it's all yours" she says when she walks past, a white towel wrapped around her body.
"Bella wait" I hold her hand and she turns around, "I hope what happened doesn't make it awkward between us, I'm really sorry"
She smiles, "it's fine, let's just stop talking about it okay? I wont tell if you wont" she continues to walk into her bedroom and I follow her.
I watch as she looks through her wardrobe.
"Thank you" I whisper to her.
"It's okay" she whispers back then goes to flicking through her clothes again, "I though you needed a wee?" She questions.
"Oh yeah" I walk down the hallway and back to the bathroom.
Well that went better than I expected...

Bella Waters' pov

Well that went better than I expected...
I thought he had left when I ran into my bedroom. I thought he went home to Jess when I didn't hear any noise from the living room but then I heard him on the phone and thats when I went for a shower.
I decided I would just act as normal with him as it will become awkward between us and thats the last thing I want.
He returns into my bedroom as I stand there in my pants and bra, the towel wrapped around my head.
"Ashton!" I squeal and he quickly shuts the door again and shouts sorry.
I quickly pull a purple top and light blue jeans I'm wearing to the party.
"It's fine, I'm decent" I call to Ashton and he walks in and looks at me in a weird way.
"What? Is this not okay?" I ask looking down at myself.
"No, no, you look lovely, it's just were going to a house party remember?" He says.
Ouch.
I'll just have to pretend that that didn't hurt my feelings.
"Okay then Mr I know all about fashion, what shall I wear then?" I cross my arms across my chest and he cracks his knuckles.
"Well let's see what you've got" he walks past me and starts to flick through my clothes hung in my wardrobe.
"No. No. No. No. No." He says as he picks up each item and throws it behind him on to the floor.
"Your cleaning all this up" I laugh and he holds up his finger to silence me. I shake my head and roll my eyes at him.
"No. No. No. N- yes!" He finally says and holds up a black dress I haven't seen in years.
"No way! The last time I wore that I was fifteen and I look like a complete slut in it!" I say.
Ashton carefully examines the dress.
"Just try it on"
"No" I argue.
"Pleaseeee" he puts on his sweetest smile and flutters his eyelashes.
"Fine" I sigh in defeat and snatch the dress from his hands, "turn around" I tell him before stripping down to my underwear again.
I slip the black dress over my head, zip it up at the side, then look in the mirror.
It's a lot tighter then it used to be and my legs look a lot longer. It falls higher than my mid thigh and it has no straps to hold it up.
"Nope" I start to in zip it but Ashton stops me.
"It looks really great on you!" He compliments.
I was kinda hoping he wouldn't of turned back around and I could of quickly slipped it off without him seeing, but I guess not.
"It seriously doesn't, I mean look how short it is!" I say and continue to unzip it, "turn" I instruct Ashton again and he does.
Instead of putting my jeans and t-shirt back on I just slip on my pink dressing gown as I know Ashton will find me something else to wear. I walk back over to my wardrobe and look through the clothes again. Ashton walks up behind me and watches.
"What about that?" He points out as my hand lands on my only other 'party-ish' dress I own.
It's not too bad. At least it has thick straps and doesn't show most of my skin off like that other dress I have. I should really throw it out.
"I guess" I shrug and then Ashton automatically turns around as I undo my dressing gown and let it fall to the floor. I slip on the red dress try to reach for the zip but this times it's in the back of the dress.
"Can you zip me up please Ash" I say, "I mean Ashton" I correct myself, he smiles and I turn around and look at myself in the mirror again. I watch him walk up behind me. We both stare at our reflections in the mirror for a while and then I pull all my hair on to my right shoulder and Ashton slowly zips me up. His finger also trails up my back as he continues to zip the dress, sending shivers down my spine.
"You can call me Ash if you want, I don't mind" he says softly into my ear and I look up to his reflection in the mirror. Our eyes meet and I quickly step away and run my fingers through my still wet hair.
"Thanks, I think I'm going to wear this then" I say ignoring his little comment and then pick up my phone from my bed.
It's 12 o'clock already. Time just flies I guess.
I face Ashton and he stands there awkwardly.
"I um, I'm just gunna dry my hair and do my make-up, feel free to go watch some tv, I have all the Friends box sets in the lounge" I smile and he nods then walks off.
I sigh as soon as he leaves the room and closes the door. I fall back on to my bed and look up at the ceiling. I've found I tend to do this when I'm trying to think about things.
I honestly don't know what to say anymore. All these signs he's giving me and I keep jumping and moving away.
Okay I gotta admit, I kinda like him. But after my last boyfriend, it's going to take more than a few weeks for Ashton to earn my trust. As I've said before, trust is a big thing for me.

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A/n:
I've finally learned how to add pictures to each chapter, yay😂
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ily x