Echoes

Part 8

When I woke up Sunday afternoon, I decided it was time to show some maturity and actually talk to Asher. I was still raging and didn't really want to talk to him, but the fact remained that we were going to have a baby together. That wasn't going to change. Ignoring him completely just wasn't an option no matter what happened.

After a shower and a tub of fat-free sherbet, I turned on my phone. Several text messages and voicemail notifications popped up, all of them from Asher. I listened to the latest voicemail and read the most recent text. Both of them conveyed the same message: he loved me, not talking was killing him, and he was just going to keep calling and texting until I got sick enough of it to answer. 

But then it hit me; none of the voicemails or text messages was dated any later than 10:30pm the previous night. Considering how much he had been calling and texting, and the fact that he had vowed not to quit until I talked to him, why would he just stop like that? Knowing there was only one way to find out, I dialed his number.

To my surprise, Asher answered on the first ring.

"Shira?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm finally calling you back."

"Oh, right. Yeah."

"I'm sorry for ignoring you, but what you said was really, unbelievably shitty," I stated.

"I know that," he replied. "I know and I'm sorry. It was just...it's just been too much pressure."

"I know, but that's kind of a given, you know? A baby is a huge responsibility."

"You thought about abortion and adoption before, right? I mean, you didn't want to keep it at first."

"Well, yeah, I was scared," I reminded him. "I knew adoption would be too hard to handle, but I thought about abortion."

"What if you were right?" he asked.

"What?" I demanded. Where the hell was this coming from? "Asher what are you talking about?"

"I just...I've been doing some thinking and I think that maybe you should have one."

I felt as if I'd just had the wind knocked out of me. How could he say something like this? He was the one who had insisted on keeping the baby to begin with. He was excited about it; he'd gotten me excited about it. We'd bought all sorts of stuff for the baby and we'd been checking out apartments...things that you didn't do when you had any doubts. And I had just entered my third trimester. Didn't he realize it was too late for an abortion?

"What the fuck, Asher?" I snapped.

"I just don't think we're really ready," he argued.

This was insane. I was the one who had said these very things when I first told him I was pregnant (things that he had insisted weren't true) and now he was saying them as if it was some new realization. Was he going nuts?

"Are you out of your goddamn mind right now?" I shouted.

"Shira, it needs to be done, okay? It'll keep us together," he said.

I felt sick the moment I heard those words. Did he mean what I thought he might? Surely he didn't...it would make no sense. But just the thought that he might was enough to make a lump form in my throat.

"Are you saying that if I don't get rid of the baby you're going to leave me?" I all but shouted. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I am, Shira," he said.