chapter 11 - not the new beginning i wanted.

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tw - sexual assault

stella.

i wake up in a hospital room laying flat on my stomach. the gown they've changed me into makes me feel like my entire backside is on display to the world, however i quickly realize nobody else is in this room with me. my limbs feel frozen. the thin bed sheet they disguise as a blanket is not nearly enough to warm my body up. sitting up, pain flares up my back and something falls off. it's a cooling rag that i realize is not cold anymore upon touching it. it makes me wonder how long i've been laying here.

my throat is so dry that i down the cup of water next to me in seconds. the building feels oddly quiet to the point that i become concerned no nurse has noticed i'm up or came in to check on me. i get out of the bed to peel back the blinds only to find it pitch black outside. the parking lot observed below is scattered with empty spaces. there's no indication of time anywhere in the room, but i know it's still in the dead of night.

the bed seems to be staring back at me, empty and cold. the loneliness is taunting. i almost consider getting back in it for a second, but decide not to. my brain is telling me to go for a walk. my body screams otherwise. the last thing i want to do in this moment is stay confined to a small room by myself. i slip out of the door, shutting it quietly behind me.

the layout of the hospital is not like i remember it last time. i'm no expert, but i have been to this place a few times and feel like i should know my way around by now. nobody is sitting at the circular desk.  no nurse or doctors are whizzing through the halls. there's an absence of noisy children and their concerned parents. it seems like a ghost town in here.

i know it's a children's hospital, but the bright colors everywhere are nauseating. it's too much. they should've painted something more calming on the walls, perhaps some clouds. if i was a child, this would not ease my anxiety about being in a hospital. every door i pass walking down the hallway is shut closed. everyone is asleep. the silence is starting to get unsettling.

as i think i am approaching the end, the sound of a toilet flush and running water in a sink catches my attention. a door that is different from the rest swings open almost the moment i pass it. out pops a man with a larger frame and hair darker than dr. hemmings. despite hearing the noise from the bathroom beforehand, his exit is so unexpected it startles me. he is so familiar and i cannot place a finger on why. i'm not the only one startled,

"stella?" he questions.

i immediately take a step back and cross my arms over my stomach, "how do you know my name?"

"luke is my best friend and roommate." he states calmly. "'what room are you in? he probably wouldn't want you to be up right now."

"no." i take another step back. "i mean, i don't know what room i'm in and i don't want to go back there anyways."

"okay, we don't have to. its okay, don't be scared. i think luke is just downstairs grabbing some coffee. how about i send him a text and we go wait for him in his office?" he tries to compromise.

"you don't have to wait with me. you can just show me where it is and i'll be okay."

"i don't think its the best idea you be alone right now. but no worries, he'll be up in no time." he pulls out his phone, to send dr. hemmings a text i presume, and i start to trail along behind him.

their offices are down the other side of the hallway. we pass my room, but i don't say anything since the door is shut and looks like the rest. it's through a set of double doors that he had to swipe his badge to open. dr.hemmings' door is the only one open. there's a little couch he instructs me to sit on and i nervously wait for dr. hemmings to come. my leg bounces up and down as i stare at it, avoiding the burning gaze of this doctor who knows my name.

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