The Thoughts of a Madman

Entry 3.

The blue Sphere:
It surrounds me day by day
Corrupting and corroding my visions of the day
Blindingly blue
It's addicting as it is painful
So mournful but so yearnful as well
It comes and goes like a storm
A beauty found in the ugliness of it all
It's every wisp so mesmerizing as is hypnotizing
So much I want to do so little of
How I wish it could enrapture me for an eternity
Away from all that beckons it to come
So that tears are no longer shed
Who am I to demand anything
Who am I to wish for anything
Who am I to yearn for anything
When I deserve everything to be taken away
Words of pretense fog the eyes of those it's whispered to
Oh how easy but so hard it is to clear those eyes and bring forth wrath and scorn so justifiably deserved
I beckon the sphere hoping to exist one day
To one day to take me
To trap me
To end it all for me
The pain
The frustration
The disappointment
The hatred
The scorn
All of it
End it please
It's heavier than the world itself
Finally peace there is in sleep
Oh how I wish it was eternal