Cybersex •frerard•

chapter eight

Very very short update. But at least its an update. I'm sorry its taking so long. Enjoy the update? Uh. Yeah sorry it sucks.

"Say it, Frankie..." He breathed. I myself let out another shuddery breath. It was so strange. I felt like I'd just be lying to Gee. Because I would. I wasn't beautiful, and him wanting me to say I was? I physically couldn't. I was hideous.

"G-Gee...I'm not-"

"Shh, hun... Just- say it. Tell me how beautiful you are. Tell me how perfect your body is, and how adorable your little face is... Your captivating hazel doe eyes...button nose...rosy apple cheeks...fuckin precious...tell me about it..." He sounded as though he was in a daydream. But it was night. I wonder, can you daydream at night?

My heart was beating quicker than usual. His voice was intense. It made everything around me seem different. But I dont even know how else to describe it.

His compliments rolled in repeatedly, like a tidal wave. Crashing onto the shore of my mind harder than before. My body felt hot, and I bit my lip in debating fashion. Isn't it sad, that it was actually hard to say I was beautiful? I didn't believe it that much. Could you blame me?

"Frankie..." He whispered into the phone, snapping my thoughts off, reminding me that he wanted to hear me say I was...beautiful. Or in other words, something I'm not.

"Gee, its hard for me." I confessed. I was positive he already knew though.

"Doesn't have to be. Believe me, hun... You. You are so beautiful. You're beautiful. Say it with me now..." His voice was sincere and devoted. I tightly closed my eyes, letting Gees voice cover my own as I harmonized the lie.

"I'm beautiful." I whispered, even though he said "you are." Did he really think I was beautiful? Did he...really?

~(°^°)~ °^°)> \(°^°)/

"It was kind of a life changing moment, to be honest. Inside, I felt like Gee and I had opened a door to the start of a new beginning when it came to my insecutires." I released my thoughts as I looked around the familiar office. Dr. Way nodded and smiled, and I'm pretty sure he was unaware of the shape of his lips. That moment in the relationship made me smile as well. Every time.

"You said you were beautiful. Did you believe it?" He questioned. I looked at the jar of candy next to the couch I was seated on.

Opening my lips that were now turned into a frown, I answered truthfully.

"For a moment....yes.

Yeah, for a moment, I believed Gee, and all the doubts escaped. That was what happiness felt like... It felt amazing. Had I spent so much time away from joy that I'd forgotten what it felt like?

By the time I finished telling Dr. Way about that minscule portion of my story, it was nearly time to go. I was kind of glad, too. I felt extra tired that day, and school was a drag. As always.

We exchanged a few more words and Dr. Way handed me my next appointment card that I was instructed to give to my parents after the session. Half the time I just want to take the card and rip it up into a billion pieces, throw it in the trash and hope my parents forget about the appointment. Even though that's like, totally impossible. My dad writes everything down in his little leather planner that costed like twenty bucks at Office Max.

I sighed and sat up slightly, wrapping my arms around myself and bringing my knees tighter together, scratching my arms in awkwardness. The sound of the clock and Dr. Way writing filled the room, along with the background radio coming from the ceiling. It was on another weather alert... Rain, thunderstorms again.

Dr. Way spinned his chair to face me once again after writing on his desk.

"So, do you mind if I give you a suggestion, Frank?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows, his glasses by the edge of his pointed nose. His nose kind of looked like....

I nodded at him, shaking those thoughts away. Everything reminded me of him.

"I would recommend writing in a journal. I know a lot of people say you should, and you should. Its a great way to get your thoughts out. Consider it, yeah?" He said. My face must've looked skeptical, because he sighed and repeated, "consider it..."

I simply nodded and looked out the window at the rain and dark clouds. I really loved New Jersey.

"Also, expect a little surprise for next week. I know you like drawing and stuff. Art. And I think I have a little something that can benefit us both in these sessions." I looked at him confused, but nodded, getting my jacket from next to me and slipping it on.

"What is it?" I asked curiously, wondering what my clever coucelor was thinking. He chuckled, answering me with a star in his eye. Pride written all over his features.

"My brother suggested it a while ago. I had a patient who wanted to be an artist, and my brother is an artist, so I told him about the patient and he told me to try this... But its a surprise, so you'll have to wait until next week."

I nodded understandingly but had one more question for him. "Dr. Way, you talk about your brother a lot, and how close you two were. But you talk about it like...he's just in the past...wha-"

"He is. Kind of...I mean, I still talk to him on occasion. But. Sometimes you need to distance yourself from what can only bring bad news."

"But. He's your brother..." I shook my head at what I was hearing.

"And I said I still talk to him on occasion. I'll see you next week, Frank." He said as he walked me out of the office, waving at my parents who patiently waited in the small waiting room. And that was that. It seemed as though his brother was a topic I had to keep off of.