Numb

Chapter One

When I think about my life all that comes to mind is alone. That's what I am. All alone. Everyone seems to have left me for some reason and I can't grasp the reaons as to why. It's not like I want to find out, I could care less, but it would be nice if someone could give me a hint. Why did they start to think I'm a nobody? Why was I shunned? How did this happen to me? I used to be so happy, but now... now I just feel nothing. I'm numb. I'm Eden Sturment and I've only got me, myself, and I.

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I look up to the sky smelling the rain on the new morning's breath. Words couldn't express the feelings I had about this day. Something felt off. I could feel the cold air seeping into my bones. A deep unsettling feeling. I shudder and pull my hood over my head to protect my ears from the brisk air. I take tentative steps as I walk towards the school's entrance. It starts to sprinkle as I come upon the sidewalk. I can't help but stop for a moment to enjoy the light kisses of rain. I take in a deep breath and close my eyes.

"Good morning Eden, I see we're off to a great start in the morning. I know I love it when I can blatently block people's paths to get to school." The voice I knew I'd hear today slides into my ears without my permisson and I squint my eyes in disgust. "Sooooo we movin or not?" I open my eyes to take in Ben Haden. His eyes are calm, but flicker with some sort of emotion that I can't dicern.
"Ben, I'm so sorry you've put on to much weight that you can't get around me." I push out my bottom lip and mock him by pretending to cry. "What do you want anyway?" I question, looking him over. His eyes change in almost an instant and I now sense he's about to turn into the Ben I know today.
"I'd like you to follow orders and go ask Cayden out on a date for Friday." He nods towards a boy I knew all to well. Cayden is one of the only people who still give me any time or effort. We talk every once in a while, but I'm in no way close enough to him to ask him out. I don't even like him like that. I close my eyes and let out a long sigh.
"And why would I do that Ben? To please you? You know I could give two fucks about what you want." I ift my lids to stare him down. Ben shakes his head and lets out a low laugh. It doesn't come from his amusment, no, this laugh is pure evil. He leans close to my ear and I can't help but stiffen by his close proximity.
"You flatter me darling, but if you don't do what I want, you know what will happen." His hot breath fogs up my brain for a split second before my anger boils up to my throat.
I get asked a lot why Ben and I stopped being friends and I always answer that we just grew apart. The truth is, Ben just stopped coming over one day. He'd gotten a girlfriend named Holly and apparently I was too problematic for her. Instead of standing up for me, he stood up for her in more ways than one. I'd always hated that part in Ben. He never seemed to know where his loyalties lied. He'd always just go with what he thought would get him the most popularity. I shared everything with Ben, he knew all too much about me so he could expose me within seconds. Now, I know I don't really have any friends here anyway so why worry? Well, I just don't want people to actually have a reason to be staring at me. I don't want them to judge me with a cause. I hate feeling small and that's exactly why Ben does what he does.
"You're taking your sweet time." Ben's words slither into my brain and wake me up from my daze.
"Fine." I seethe. I hike my backpack over my shoulders and march towards Cayden. The things I'd love to do to that man! I'd like to bust his kneecaps one of these days. See how he likes to feel helpless.
I reach Cayden's motorcycle, which he's leaned up against with his arms crossed. If I wasn't such a plain Jane I'd love to ask Cayden out to a date. I'd wife him within a moment. He was one of those guys who acted like a badboy, but was actually a softy on the inside. I admired that about him. He knew who to put up his walls                              around. Plus, his floofy blonde hair and stunning pale blue eyes didn't make talking to him any harder. He stood a good foot above me with lanky arms and strong looking hands. He had a strong jawline that you often had to look at because of his height.
Cayden notices me stomping over to him and a small grin forms on his lips. His stubble has gotten more prominent and it takes me a bit to recover from how absolutely beautiful this man was. "Hey E, what's up?" His eyes study my expression and his grin suddenly falls. "Ben?" He asks and his eyes drift off to behind me. I let out a groan and cover my face.
"Caydenwillyougooutwithme?" I smush my words together in attempt to cover up what I was asking this poor boy, but he catches on because his eyes sparkle with slight amusement.
"Why E, I didn't know you'd started to crush on me." He gains a boyish smolder on his face and I get the urge to die. "But yeah, if it'll get back at that asswhipe over there then yeah." He replies with a slight tilt of his head. My eyes widen and I uncover my face. My mouth must have dropped open because Cayden closes the distance between us and reaches for my chin. He lifts it up so I meet his gaze. " I never thought you'd ask." He speaks louder now, I'm assuming to put on a show. "But this is all so sudden, my heart can't take on such a beauty as yourself Eden." His voice drops low. "Plus I don't know if I'd be able to handle being alone with you. I'd ask to many things I wouldn't want you to answer." His eyes light up with a slight electricity and I want to look away, but I'm entranced. This was all for show of course, but my heart wouldn't stop pounding in my chest.
"I-I got to get to class." I mumble to Cayden. He backs away from me with that same boyish grin and grabs hold of my hand.
"I'll walk you there." My eyes must be popping out of my head by the time I recognize he's entertwined our fingers. What have I gotten myself into? I mean, this was all Ben, but I didn't expect this to happen. I'm confused beyond all explaining. No one could explain this situation to me. Cayden and I pass Ben, but Cayden suddenly stops. He releases my hand and strides towards Ben. Ben is only a little shorter than Cayden, so when the two of them stare into each other's eyes with such firey passion it's almost like they're going to kiss. Some girls around them start to whisper with giddy looks, but they don't seem to notice.
"What do you want Serin?" Ben puffs out his chest and instead of looking tough he just looks like he wants to chest bump Cayden. This makes Cayden frown and his eyes turn cold. He pokes Ben in the chest pretty hard and leans in close. I'm not sure what he says but Ben's eyes instantly lock with mine. It's not anger, nor happiness, but something I never thought I would see Ben look  at me with again, worry.
"I'd watch yourself Haden, or I'll be telling coach about your outbursts." Cayden gives him one last look before turning back to me.
"Yes Captain." Ben mumbles and turns on his heel to walk away. I don't know where he disappeared off to, but Cayden did end up walking me to my class. Once I'm seated I can finally take in all that happened in just the span of 30 minutes. I put my head in my hands and scream internally. I don't want to live anymore. Someone stop the life support. I'll be passing away now. I squeeze my eyes shut as if that will take me back in time. God what a mess.
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I stop in front of my locker pausing to peek inside of the class I knew Ben would be in. When I spot him my heart seems to stop beating and I hold my breath. Ben didn't look like himself. His skin was pale and his eyes full of saddness. He didn't look like he was paying attention at all, maybe that's why when he looked up at met my gaze he didn't seem bothered at all. I escape to the side and take a few heavy breaths. What are you doing Eden? That jackass isn't your friend anymore! Stop caring about him. I cover my face and also put a hand to my heart. I can feel it racing in my chest and it's almost as if my mind is racing along with it. How did we get to this point again?
"Why aren't you in class E?" I look up to see Cayden in a Health class uniform. I'm a little stunned by how he even looks good in a simple set of workout clothes. I start to feel a little nervous and scold myself for feeling so.
"Uh, I needed to get a book, but I-" Cayden peers through the window and some type of emotion crosses his eyes before he looks back at me.
"Hey, it's cool, I'm actually glad we ran into each other. Since we're fake dating I figured it would be nice to invite you to a party that me and my friends are throwing this Saturday at 9." For some reason I feel hurt that he put emphasis on fake dating, but I shake it off and nod my head slowly.
"Umm, I'm not really good... with parties." I mumble. Last time I was at one was a sleepover with Ben and his little sister. That was the night I knew my heart belonged to that boy, but... that was a long time ago.
"Please say yes! It'll be either a celebration for the win on Friday night or to black out because of the loss." He smirks and in an instant his arm is slung around my shoulders. "So what do you say? I'd like you to at least try to make it to the game too." He tilts his head as he studies me. His look makes me feel different, but safe for some reason.
"I-" I pause and think back to how Ben looked at me in the parking lot."I'll be ready at 4 for the game and I can find a ride to the party." I reply quietly. Cayden hears me non the less and smiles widly.
"That's great news! I'm so glad you're going to be there! Ah, this is going to be so much fun. Thanks E!"
Ben's teacher pops their head out of the door and glares at us.
"You two, head back to class please!" Then they're gone. Cayden grabs my hand and I giggle. We laugh together for a little before he waves goodbye and heads off. I sigh and rest my head against the cool metal of my locker. What a whirlwind of a day. I don't even think my head is screwed on right. I guess that numb feeling had resided just a bit. I look off to where Cayden had disappeared and smile.
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It was nearing midnight when I awoke in a cold sweat. I put my hand to my chest and feel my heart fluttering. Why was I dreaming about him? I furrow my brows and wipe my forehead from the beads of sweat. I'm about to try for a couple more hours of sleep when I hear my phone go off. Who would be texting me at this hour? I grab my phone and turn it over. The bright light blinds me and I don't think I'll ever see again, but soon the spots fade. I'm left staring at a text my mom sent.
Mommy: Honey me and your dad are taking a trip to New Orleans for maybe about 2 weeks for work. I'm sorry this is such late notice, but we need to get there as fast as we can. It's urgent!! Take care of your little brother and sister for us! Love you lots!
Gone again. I should be used to this by now. They're always leaving for improptu visits for work. They've been happening more often these past few years. It's getting annoying quickly. I wish I had my parents' time back again. I guess I don't care, but I don't really have anyone else. I let out a long breath and cover my face with my forearm. It's then that I notice a soft light coming from the hall. Confusion fills my mind. Where would that light be coming from? I sit up and turn myself to get off my bed. My feet hit the ground and a lock of my brown hair falls in front of my face. No one should be awake right now. I quietly shift my weight towards my open door. I peek out into the hall and find that my father's study door is open. I double check that it's his study and when I'm sure I get a shiver. My dad isn't home. Who could be in there or why would he leave the door open? He never does that. I can't help my curiousity as I make my way to the door. I breathe in silently as not to disurb the people that weren't there. I push at the door and let it swing open. Well, I guess it's time to see what the hell is in there.
The room was huge with papers covering the walls all over. It has a tall roof and a huge french door overlooking the gardens. There was a balcony attached to the outside, where I would often see my father smoking a cigar with a thoughtful expression. There was a beautiful marble fireplace on the far side of the room with a sofa in front of it. Papers lay forgotten on the cushions. I turn to find a sturdy oak desk tucked away with bookcases behind it. I tiptoe towards the desk and flop down in the swivle chair placed nicely under the desk. I spin around in it until my head starts to spin all by itself. I notice an open book oooon the desk now and pull it closer to myself. Whatever could this be? I squint my eyes to read the fine print.

Name: Eden Wren Sturment
Birthday: February 25th, 2003
Eye Color: Blue
Royal Name: Fortis Corde Suo
Royal Rank: 1st born-heir to the Red Throne
Red Throne: The family that started the royal kingdoms. The current king is Wiliam Sturment. His daughter Eden will take over the throne after him. The world of Cordibus needs her to be married sooner rather than later. Her succession date will be on her 18th birthday.
Description: Has dark brown hair, light blue eyes, a loving personality and is smart in decison making. She will make an excellent Queen. Her protector is Ben Haden. He has been assigned to protect her and be at her every wish.
My first thoughs go as follows; Why would dad be writting a story about me? This story really has it all ass backwards, Ben has been taking advantage of me then. I suddenly feel a laugh build up in my throat. This must be some kind of joke. I mean, this isn't real. My dad is obviously just writing something. Right? I flip through the book, but my body goes cold as I find a photo of my grandfather standing next to what looks like a humanistic fox. Her tail is on fire and her eyes are slender as they peer into the camera. P-photoshop has gotten really good these days. I slam the book shut and tuck it away on the side of the desk. My mind races with the possibilities. The only question I can seem to ask is why?
My thoughts are interupted as I hear a slight knock on the french door. I gulp in and grab a letter opener.
"H-hello? I have a knife!" I shout as I hop out of the chair and make my way over to the window. When I don't hear a reply I briskly swing the doors open. A dark tuff of hair appears and Ben climbs over the balcony railing. He grunts and then falls onto his back. He breathes heavily for a while and mumbles about how out of shape he is. "You." I hiss. Ben looks at me with his sharp green eyes and I raise up my letter opener. "Tell me why I shouldn't stab you." I press my lips into a thin smile as Ben repositions himself into a sitting position.
"Well, first of all that would be bad neighborly maners and second of all I would like to live." Ben then gets to his feet and looks at the sharp object I have grasped in my hands. "Are you going to invite me in or am I going to have to push past you again?" His eyes light up with mischief and I turn on my heel to walk inside.
"Why are you here?" I mumble, not caring exactly about his answer. He steps into the study and takes a deep breath in.
"Well, you could say I'm here to protect you, but obviously you have that covered." He gestures to the letter opener I still have clutched in my hands. I smile sheepishly and drop it on the desk.
"Ben, I don't know why you even bother to come over. My mom told me she still texts you. You don't have to listen to her you know? You can just go back over to your house and play your video games. I don't care okay? We both don't like each other and that's not going to change because my mother wants you to check in on me." I mumble and sit back down in the chair. I spin in it a coupe more times before I realize Ben has progressed towards the desk.
"Actually, I do have to listen to your mom." He mutters and sits himself upon the desk. I roll my eyes and cross my arms.
"Why? Becasue she's an adult? You're so annoying." I shake my head and trace an emble of some type carved into the desk. Ben notices me tracing it and his eyes soften.
"No, because she's the Queen."