His Perfect Timing

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 12

"We love because He first loved us"

1 John 4:19
——

Isn't love such a strange thing one night it's a bed of roses and the next it feels like walking on iron nails.

The gloaming night sky was filled with stars but the cold was stiffening sending chills down her spine, who would have reckoned that in one night she'll end up homeless on the streets.

Martha's hands clenched onto the suitcase like her life was dependant on it, her lips were firmly pressed in a fine line, the cloak she was wearing gave very little to no resistance against the cold.

The streets were silent, the only source of light was the full moon position on the sky and blinkering street lamps that appeared to be doing no good.

Martha looked at her phone screen, the brightness blinding her.

2:30

She longed for a warm cozy mattress with blankets, a heater to flee the stiffening cold. Her eyelids felt heavy, sleepiness ripping into her body no matter how hard she tried to stay awake.

Sleep is so crucial, we don't appreciate its importance until we lose it. Martha at that moment regretted every single night she had taken warm blankets and a cozy bed for granted.

Martha looked for a place to lay, it was no longer her controlling her sleep it had gotten to a point where it had started to control her.

It can't get any worse can it, and then the panic attacks kick it, At this point, she doesn't know which is more frightening the cars that could knock her or the panic attacks that may cause the same effect.

Martha finally decides to sit beside a lamppost, her back hurting as the pole pierced through her back making it the most uncomfortable position to sleep in.

She felt her breath starting to become uneven as she began to gasp for breath, her heart thumping firmly against her chest, a cold sweat breaking out, her mind felt blank she was afraid but she didn't know what she was so scared of there was nothing that could cause her potential danger around yet curdled up in a fetal position she wished she were dead.

" Please make it stop" she whispered, there was no one around she had no idea who she was babbling too.

Holding her chest, as she began to feel compressed, it felt like staring at death right in the eye, it felt like everything was going to end, there was no way she was going to survive this.

She moaned in pain, it felt like a heart attack, Martha was so afraid of losing control and ending up in a mental hospital.

Usually these attacks lasts only for a few minutes but this one went on for more than the anticipated time.

She dug in her pockets to see if there was anything that could help cease the situation.

A hard piece of paper almost giving her a paper cut, it felt like a card she took it out to see what it was.

The paper Gabriel gave her, she looked first at the number deciding whether to call or not, but she decided it's too late in the night, she was going to face this attack it's not going to last forever.

And then her eyes wandered over to the verse written, written with a black pen in mild cursive.

"The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble." She read the verse in a whisper.

" Looks like no one is standing beside me in this time of trouble, looks like I am alone" said Martha with a mocking laugh " If your real prove it to me"

And then it came like a flood, His Love. It was so strong and powerful, it stopped her panic attack like it was nothing, the love she felt at that moment was so hard to interpret, 
it was indefinable, peace was all she felt, The love was so overpowering it was difficult for her to stand, the stiffening cold couldn't be felt anymore it felt like a warm blanket wrapped around her.

It was 3 am, the entire world was asleep nobody cared about the homeless girl outside yet there was someone who neither slumbers nor sleeps.

And at that moment she knew he was real.

A/N
The last part of this chapter is one of the best things I've written in a long time now, this chapter was originally planned to not be this way it was supposed to be going in another direction but then I was listening to some worship music and I was filled by his love and I wrote this, reading it I am surprised. I know God is in control, he will heal my anxiety and panic attacks.