RED (BILLIE EILISH)

Three

The drive to my aunts house was quite and long. So fucking long. She lives right outside LA which is cool but it's way too far from my house in Lost Hills.

I texted Drew as we pulled into her driveway, letting him know that I needed to focus on myself and blah blah blah. There was no way that I was going to have the energy to put into him from 2 hours away. I slipped my phone into my pocket as I looked up to see my aunts cute little house. It was painted blue and white, much like something you would see in a movie.

"C'mon sweat pea." My aunt nudged my shoulder softly before getting out and grabbing some of my bags. I followed as we walked through the hallways of her house. There were two, one going east and one going west, the kitchen and living room meeting them in the middle.

She led me to a decent sized room with a full sized bed, a night stand on each side. There was a dresser on one wall and a t.v. sat on top. The room was simple and a perfect foundation for the cozy little hole I had planned in my head. My aunt helped me unpack, placing all of my belongings in the four walls that I would call home for who knows how long.

As she placed my last peace of luggage in the top of my closet, silence fell throughout the house.
Our small talk sustained as a comfortable tension took up the space, waiting for the other to begin talking. We sat on the edge of my bed as I observed every corner of my new room, allowing it to feel like home.

"Sweetie I know losing your dad was hard." She placed her hand on my back.

I didn't look at her in fear of crying real tears.

"I want you to know that it's okay to talk about it." I saw her head lower out of the corner of my eye. "I also know that you're not a bad kid. You've got a heart of gold, always have." Her voice lowered as she rubbed her hand in circles on my back slowly.

I mustered up my most convincing smile, "Thanks Aunt Jenna." I didn't hold eye contact for long. I couldn't.

She kissed my temple before exiting the room and shutting the door softly. The perfect depiction of grace, that woman. She's always been one of my favorite people. She is my calm in the middle of a storm.

~

I woke up the next morning, having slept through my first three alarms. It was my first day at a new school and I was already running late.

Great.

Turns out my mom had been looking into schools near my Aunt's house over the past couple of months and had already planned to send me away. I guess I became too much to handle sooner than I thought.

I ran a straightener through my long brown hair and threw on mascara and blush. I slipped on my t shirt, ripped jeans, just like I would on a normal day at my old high school.

"Bye Sweet Pea! Love you!"

"Love you" I mumbled before shutting the front door behind me. Not only am I late to school, but I have to take the stupid fucking bus. I might as well just drop dead now.

As I approached the bus stop, the doors closed and my stomach dropped to my ass.

You have got to be kidding me. No. I'm not doing this.

Before I could stop myself I was banging on the bus doors, making the driver half fall out of her seat. I threw my hands up in the air as she rolled her eyes. The doors swung open and I stomped in to see a bus full of judgmental teens. I'm not sure why I expected it to look different here, but these kids look just about as hypocritical as the ones from home.