Somewhere only I know

A bond

After laying in bed for hours contemplating my life I finally decide to shower and get ready for Steph's party. I play some music and almost convince myself I'm excited to be going. After five wardrobe changes, almost burning my face with my straighter and blasting the few feel good songs I have on my playlist, I'm ready to go. I stop for a moment and stare into the mirror. My gaze so focused but mind so distant.
"You can't blame yourself forever you know"
My mind refocuses and my eyes break their gaze at themselves, I see Sage leaning against the wall of my bathroom.
"You look stunning" I exclaim.
She's wearing a short black dress, with a pair of shiny high heels that shimmer as she walks, her long black hair straightened to perfection and eye shadow that makes her ocean blue eyes look magical. I glance back at the mirror. I see myself wearing a grey dress much like hers, only I didn't look like a model in mine, my brownie blond hair straightened but it doesn't sit so perfectly over my shoulders, I see my old black and white converse high tops not fit for any special occasion, and my light makeup that makes my light brown eyes look anything but magical.
"Maybe I should just stay here" I say feeling disheartened.
"What are you talking about c? You can't possibly be looking that good and not show it off, plus you deserve to have a good time." Sage tried to reassure me.
She has called me c since we were little becuase she thought Samiaya was spelt with a c not an s. I guess it just stuck.
"If you put it like that... why are we still standing here let's go" i chuckle.
We both smile and strut out the house with our arms around each other.

As we walk into the party I feel my Palms start to sweat, and my heart beating out my chest. I reluctantly walk through the front door of Stephs house and am met by what looks like 500 people, all loud all drunk. I instantly regret coming but know it's to late to run when sage drags me by my arm over to our friends. My hearts racing and heads spinning but the feeling of regret has subsided.

12:00am and the musics still blasting, people are still drinking, and I'm now dancing with sage without a negative thought in my brain. The party was so hectic but I felt so calm, so free. I seperate from my friend group when looking for water, when I realise I was alone I begin to panic. I run around frantically looking for sage or Steph or anyone I knew really. Just as I'm about to have a breakdown I see Sage looking for me in the distance. My heart drops and I run towards her. Before I'm able to reach her I'm pushed over. I take a second to get my bearings and look up and see Nova sanding over me.
"Sammy I'm so sorry, I didn't-"
"Don't call me Sammy." I interrupt.
Just as I'm about to go off my head at Nova I look at the expression on his face. It's not the normal charming, cocky smirk. He's eyes looked empty and his forced smile looked almost broken. He puts out his hand to help me up, I take it and brush myself off, and I notice he has soda all over his shirt.
"Hey do you wanna go clean that up?" I say softly.
"Ah yeah thanks" he reply's shyly.
As we walk up the stairs he trips and almost face plants, we both let out a light giggle as I help him stand. When we finally get to the bathroom I wet a hand towel and and try clean off the stain.
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked generally concerned.
"Don't worry I'm okay Sammy" he says without the usual sass.
I'm to invested in making sure he's okay to care that he called me Sammy again.
"Nova you can talk to me"
"Thanks I appreciate it, but don't lose sleep worry about dear old me" he jokes with that sass I weirdly missed.
We walk outside and sit on the grass together looking out at the bush surrounding Stephs house, we are a while away from the house so the music is like a whisper and the sound of people laughing and yelling is gone.
Nova rests his head on his knees as a tear slowly drips down his face.
"Sammy I'm going to be completely honest with you right now, promise you won't repeat what I'm about to tell you" he looks at me with pleading eyes.
" of course" I confirm.
"Before I came here me and my dad had a bit of a argument. He was mad that I got a D on a math test and went crazy. He smashed and threw everything around my room, he was screaming so loud about how the least I could do is make him proud for once. My mum got home which made everything worse, he got even angrier. I tried to stay calm but he was being so horrible. My room was a total mess and I could hear my little sister Tegan crying in her room. I yelled at him to stop because he was scaring her. I shouldn't of said that. He walked into her room and started taking his angry out on her. Throwing anything he could at her and yelling about how she should be afraid. He turned back towards me, hit me in the face and pinned my against the wall. He told me how he had never seen such a disgusting person in his life then when he did looking at me. Then he left. Sounds like a good thing I know. But my mum can't function without him, she breaks down."
He's eyes were now filled with tears, voice croaky from crying, he's hands were shaking probably from anger. He looked at me with glassy eyes and and a numb expression . I'd never seen him look so destroyed, my heart physically hurt at the sight of someone so happy being so broken.
"I feel like it's my fault, he hurt my sister because me, he left my mum because of me he's so angry because of me." he says now with tears streaming down his face.
He collapses into my arms, I reassure him it's not his fault and that he doesn't deserve to treated like that. I run my fingers through his hair and hold him while he cries
"Sam I just want him to be proud of me, why it's he proud of me?" He asks, almost hyperventilating from crying. My heart breaking at every word.
"Nova he has no reason to not be proud of you. I know it's not the same but I want you to know that I'm proud of you" I say now tearing up myself.
"I'm proud of you because no matter how your feeling, you look out for others. You tried to make me feel better in chem last week because I seemed sad. You always doing that kind of thing for people. Not many people are like that and I really appreciate you doing that it made my whole day" I reassure him.
He looks up at me and almost smiles, he looks slightly more like the charming idiot boy I'm used to.
"Thank you" he sobs.
We stay together outside for hours, I hold him while he cries, tearing up myself I let him know I'm always here and that he deserves so much better while also just letting him get let out all the emotions built up. He's falls asleep in my chest still with tears in his broken eyes.
I stay with him looking up at the night sky, I completely forgot my worries, all I cared about was him being okay. My heart was aching for him, how could someone hurt someone that badly. After a while of laying there making sure he's asleep and ok I slowly fall asleep as well. Still holding him tightly in my arms.