Waves Of Words

Deciphered Ciphers

"Why are you still pushing yourself to that toxic relationship with that guy, Clarisse? Look at yourself now, you're a mess!" I shouted at my friend hoping that she would listen. But instead of looking at me, she just sipped the remaining tequila on her glass.

I sighed. Nandito na naman kami sa bar. She requested to us earlier dahil gusto niya raw magpakasaya. Magpapakasaya ba tawag dito? She's just torturing herself!

"Mahal ko, e." Mahinang aniya. I rolled my eyes after hearing her answer.

"Tell me, how many times did you answered that stupid reason of yours? Tangina, sinasaktan ka na nung tao sa pisikal na pamamaraan na ngayon but you're acting like it's nothing for you! Nag-aalala rin ako— kami, Clarisse!" Sigaw ko ulit at napasapo nalang sa aking noo.

"Calm down, Yzella. You know our friend. She knows what she's doing." Janelle said while tapping my shoulder.

Inirapan ko siya. "Talaga? Ni hindi ko na nga siya kilala, e. Hindi naman siya gan'yan dati sa past relationships niya, ah? What happened now? What happened now, Clarisse?"

Nagulat ako nang bigla niya akong tinitigan gamit ang mga matang wala ni katiting na reaksiyon.

"Wala kang alam, Yzella. Pwede ba, 'wag mo na akong pakialaman? You always meddle with my decision, wala ka namang alam. Tinanong mo ba kung anong dahilan ko kung bakit ako ganito? Kung ayos lang ba ako habang ginagawa ko ito? Hindi. Kaya wala kang karapatang kuwestiyonin ako. At isa pa, wala akong pakialam sa pag-aalala n'yo at sa mga advices n'yo."

My mouth remained half opened after hearing those words from her. Nakatalikod na siya pero gulat na gulat pa rin ako sa mga salita niya. Nag-aalala lang naman ako, bakit siya ganyan?

I felt a warm hug from Janella when my tears suddenly falls simultaneously like a river. Hindi ko maintindihan ang ibang sinabi ni Clarisse and I never bother to think deeper thou, ang alam ko lang ay nasasaktan ako sa mga salita niya.

"N-Nag-aalala lang naman a-ako sa kaniya, J-Janella, e. B-Bakit ang s-sakit niya magsalita?" Nauutal kong saad dahil sa sunod-sunod na pagbagsak ng luha sa mga mata ko.

"I admit that I am hurting too with her words but I understand her, zel. Tama siya, tinanong ba natin siya kung anong dahilan kung bakit siya nagkaganyan except of her common reason na mahal niya talaga 'yong tao? Hindi, 'di ba? We just advised her to stay away from her boyfriend and showed our concern. We were convinced to her reason that she really loves him. But... what if there are another reason?"

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. I realized that it was really my fault, just mine because Janella was always been understanding. What kind of friend I am? Walang kwenta. Regrets filled inside me. Hindi ko man lang tinanong ang nararamdaman at ibang dahilan niya.

Today, I decided to go to Clarisse's house to asked for apology. Binabagabag kasi ako ng konsensiya ko gabi-gabi. It's been 3 days pala since realization hits me when Janella said those words in the bar that woken up my mind. Guilty na guilty ako dahil 'di na rin siya sumasama at nagpapakita sa amin ni Janella.

I took my phone and decided to call Janella para may kasama akong magpunta sa kanila.

"Hello, Yzella?" She answered on the other line.

"Jan, pwede mo ba 'ko samahan kila Clarisse? I want to apologize and ask the reason behind her attitude of pagiging marupok."

"I'm glad you already realized it, zel! Okay, puntahan mo lang ako sa amin." She said. I said 'okay' and ended the call.

Agad na akong pumunta sa kanila at ilang sandali pa'y nakarating na kami sa bahay nila Clarisse. My brows furrowed when I saw the worried face of Clarisse's mom nang makita kami. We immediately went near her.