The Leakage

Part 4: An Aimless Man

Ethan was becoming restless. His fidgety hands swept through his perfectly placed locks in every which way, disheveling them beyond reproach. Whatever leads he had come up with fell through with the next medical journal, and June's cavalier attitude to their preemptive treatment plan was getting on his nerves.

With a grumble and slam of his fist to the wooden desk Ethan finally decided to take a break.

He stalked through the halls on a mission to grab some food - anything that could help pass the laborious time of the ticking clock. What Ethan really wanted was to clear his mind with an artisan coffee, though it was much too late for Derry Roasters to be open. He'd also be damned if he left the hospital before a firm diagnosis was made. Ethan couldn't live with himself if something happened once he stepped away for a selfish moment.

Dr. Ethan Ramsey found himself wandering through the halls of the nearly-finished fifth floor hospital wing. The same wing he and Becca spent many memorable days hiding out with Naveen; consulting, consorting, falling deeper into one another...

Room 5112 . Naveen's room. Ethan didn't mean to venture to this desolate part of the hospital, his feet carried him here unknowingly. It was as if muscle memory kicked in and brought him to the one place he was able to find an escape.

The last time Ethan stood in this inpatient room, it was seemingly the worst day of his life. He had to say goodbye to his dying mentor and dearest friend, knowing full well he was powerless against the mystery illness. Ethan did everything he could think of to save Naveen's life but it wasn't enough. When Ethan felt overwhelmed and incapable, Becca was there with him every step of the way. Every test, every hard decision. She was the voice of reason.

And now the calamities of his life seemed to be repeating. There was nothing Naveen could say or do that could ease Ethan's utter distraught over the woman he - he...

Ethan's hand grazed the glossy blue painted-metal door frame. The lights were shut off; the room was empty and sterile, like no one had ever been there before. In the dim and ghostly lame fluorescent lighting , Ethan was acutely aware of the fact he was alone. Completely alone save for the spectral memories of his Rookie haunting him with each step, every inhale and every single blink of his clouded blues.

Every moment the two young colleagues were sitting at Naveen's bedside telling jokes, batting around incessant hospital gossip or doing crossword puzzles, played like a film reel in his minds eye. The waterline of Ethan's eyes grew heavy as he recalled the last time the three of them were in this very room. All too soon, the bittersweet memory of kissing Becca openly on Hospital grounds that fateful day came rushing back. The feeling of her warm cheeks and soft lips mixing with his salt-laden sighs. The way her petite hands supported him with every reassuring caress. The way the crook of her neck smelled faintly of gardenia and lingering coffee as he nuzzled against her. He remembered wretchedly leaving her in his ruinous wake. I've failed her. Again and again and again. I keep disappointing her .

Ethan would rather live that day a thousand times over than have to struggle through today.

Begrudgingly, Ethan continued on his solemn path.

On the same floor, he passed the very vending machine from not even two years ago. A ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of his terse lips, thinking of that first day of her intern year. With a heavy sigh Ethan put a few coins in and picked up the bag of Geysers Exploding Fruit Snacks. He shoved the candy deep into his lab coat pocket as he continued on his mindless meander.

With every heavy footfall the busy nurses station gradually came into view, and Ethan passed by it without a second thought. That was until a lovely sing-song voice called his name - his full name. Dr. Ethan J. Ramsey .